Best sex in my life has gone but keeps coming back

[Totallymessedup2]

I had a LTR with a much older man who died 4 years ago. I started seeing someone a year later that I had known for some time.
Our first kiss was amazing and we went out the next day and ended up coming back to mine and I had the best sex I’d ever had in my life at the age of 46.
3 years later we have split up. We trusted each other so much in bed. I never had sex toys until I met this man and I got a few couples toys. Found out he loved to be pegged.
He chose to split up. But now he’s sending me messages when he feels horny. Says he’s thinking about me. Sends me dick pics - this was something we did together. Started talking about new toys for pegging.
I would take him back in a minute because he has woken something up in my that I did not know existed.
Maybe I should be happy that he is honest and says he wants an exclusive FWB. I’m just so confused. When we sext he makes me feel horny too. I know if I see him again I will drop my knickers but the heartache is too much. I won’t find anyone else if I’m still having sex with him. He says the same thing.
Someone just tell me to move on…..

Move on

Yep. You have desires, and a libido.
Go and have sex with someone else.

Hmm not good enough to stay in a relationship with but good enough to have great sex with?

Exclusive FWB IMO with an ex is just as much work as a relationship without the commitment and nice bits. I tried it with an ex and it just got messy in the end, I can't recommend it. You need to decide if you want the sex that much.

I understand your feelings but why did he break up after so much time? And why does he want a FWB now? Perhaps you need clear answers before trusting him and making a choice.

It’s been on and off. I got drunk and upset a few weeks ago because he made me feel like a babysitter with his kids.He claims we can’t have a relationship and the only thing that worked was the sex.

Cherish everything you learned by being with him, but, if you are in a place where you want a relationship, keep looking because he’s not it!

I am looking for a relationship but feeling so lonely and old right now. Only 2 months from my 50th. And only a few weeks ago he invited the world to my house for my birthday and was telling everyone I was his girlfriend including his old school teacher.

This looks like as much a relationships topic as a sex one - definitely worth you looking at the FWB survivors thread there as there's a few other posters in this type of scenario.

Sounds like this guy is messing you around to be honest - need to weigh up whether the great sex outweighs the mindfucks of him deciding whether you're a girlfriend or not and if you're ultimately looking for relationship or happy with FWB arrangements at the moment.

I suppose you could carry on with him until someone offering more of future and emotional fulfilment comes along if that's what you're ultimately looking for, though it feels the more you stay with this guy the more he'll mess with your mind.

Feel grateful that he has opened up a new world of sexuality for you, and then go out and find yourself someone who can tick your new boxes.

IMHO With an open mind, practice and good communication, almost anyone can go from being crap in bed to being awesome in bed. And I'm sure you wouldn't find it difficult to find a man who wants to get pegged. (You've probably had one DM you by now.) Whether you want to wake up with them, discuss the laundry and hear about their day job all the time is the more difficult question.
Look for the good partner rather than the good cock.

That was the problem I liked all of the other things with my ex as well. But I very much miss that side of things with him. Plus I feel that I’m almost 50 and feel that life is slipping away.

50+ and feel life is slipping away - I absolutely know where you're coming from. I'm in the same leaky boat.

A relationship is only right when both parties want the same relationship. If you're not right for him, he's not right for you. Go kiss some frogs.

He’s back in my messages. He misses me and wants me sexually but no relationship. Whatever that means.