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How to get my sex drive back?

3 replies

alwaystired42 · 15/09/2024 09:38

basically the thread title… I just have no desire for sex these days. For context been with my OH for nearly 10 years, we have 2 DC 5 & 2, I feel very touched out at the end of the day and I just don’t feel horny. We do our equal share around the house but I would say that I’m the parent that the kids like to hang off all day 😂
I do still enjoy sex when it happens and when OH initiates but he’s becoming insecure about me never initiating any kind of sex, he’s worried I’m no longer sexually attracted to him and I’m just doing it when he initiates out of obligation which isn’t true but I can understand why it might seem this way.
our sex life when it happens is good and nothing is really off limits if the mood is right. I just feel like the topic has been brought up a lot and now there’s just lots of expectation and I can feel his disappointment if it doesn’t happen and it’s becoming too much, and now I’m almost shy around the whole idea of it, which is silly I know…I know we clearly need to have a discussion about that, but I also do want to fix it and realise that I’m part of the issue.
I had my coil removed a couple of months ago because I was completely uninterested in sex and things might have gotten a little better but we just aren’t where I hoped we’d be at this point. Any advice?

OP posts:
BeenThere101 · 15/09/2024 09:55

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

GigiAnnna · 15/09/2024 13:37

I get like this sometimes. I think I have quite a high sex drive naturally but there are weeks where I realise we haven't done it for a few days and I haven't had as much desire as I do normally, or I've satisfied myself quickly through masturbation.
Usually it's down to tiredness, I have a lot of kids and I don't think there's anything that kills desire more than that. We rarely have date nights but it can help to see your husband in a new context and not just around the house. We will make an effort to have an early night and just be naked together, cuddling and touching and that will always lead to sex for us.

Joyfulincolour · 15/09/2024 15:00

https://images.app.goo.gl/92syZyLnsv4kucYr7

It would be worth looking at Dr Karen Gurney's books. She talks about sexual currency where we make small connections with our OH through the day so it makes us feel closer & more connected to them. She explains our libido so well & she's also got a TED talk on it if that's easier to watch.

https://images.app.goo.gl/92syZyLnsv4kucYr7

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