Realised DH and I have never been sexually compatible

[LondonParisNYSlough]

DH and I met in our 20s. He has been the only man I've been with. So I have nothing to compare. We did split up for a while but got back together. We have 2 DD who are stilll at school.
He's had other girlfriends before me even been engaged twice.
I realised - after not having sex (I give him blow jobs so we do have something going?!) for a couple of years that (looking back) our sex drives are completely different.
I'm 54 - I've been working out/going to the gym since my late teens (I nearly became a personal trainer so I enjoy fitness) and now I'm finding my urge has come back big time.
But I'm Catholic and I would never get divorced and I don't want to.
Has anyone been in this situation and what did they do. My marriage isn't perfect but it's okay.
How do I help him?

If he is not interested in sex, there is nothing you can do to change that. Has always had a low sex drive? Was sexual incompatibility one of the reasons why he has had two broken engagements?
The first thing to do would be to have an open and honest conversation about your needs, outside the bedroom. Is he satisfied with how things are? You mention giving him blow jobs but how is he ensuring your sexual pleasure? He sounds selfish in bed. Intimacy goes beyond the bedroom in being affectionate, cuddles, handholding etc. A partner who contributes to household chores and childcare is also immensely attractive. So there are loads of things at play here and it's not a simple solution.
You would benefit from relationship counselling to find strategies to improve things but both parties have to put in the work. Else, things won't just magically change.

You don’t actually say what the issue is, but if has a lower sex drive than you than thats that really
maybe encourage him to exercise abit more, but that would almost certainly sound like nagging, try the health approach and encourage a mid 50s health check

good luck

I’m confused about what you want versus what you have now. How often do you have sex? How often do you want to be having sex?

Have you not had sex, only been giving him BJs for years? Am I reading that correctly?