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Husbands demands are getting worse

5 replies

Mumof2boys74 · 05/09/2024 10:02

Short version married for 19 years. Two kids one 18 other 10. I work for my husband and over our marriage he has strayed a few times always citing sex . I have taken him back but things quickly end up back to his old ways. Last year we split up for a few months and he came back cap in hand saying he wanted to be different and promised all sorts. Fast forward three months and he’s been confiding in at first a woman who works for us and more recently being overly flirty to the point he has asked on messages (which I’ve seen as I looked due to suspicions) to come to her house. As yet she hasn’t that I’m aware of said yes but last week she did something in work that he would have sacked other people over and it was brushed under the carpet. I know he wants something from her but she’s not giving in. The result of this is he is frustrated and wanting sex 4 or 5 times and he has woken me up in the middle of the night looking for it. It’s driving me mad and when I say no or try to put him off he huffs. Our sex life was always 2 times a week ish and more on holidays but this is intolerable

OP posts:
PinotPony · 05/09/2024 10:17

So why are you tolerating it?

He's openly humiliating you and obviously doesn't care about hurting you. You've forgiven him time and time again. Of course he thinks he can get away with it, he always has.

This is not a good man. This is a liar and a cheat. He's gaslighting you into believing your lack of sexual engagement is the reason for him "straying"? What absolute bullshit.

For the sake of your own self-esteem, please get rid.

ncgfryhfdg · 05/09/2024 10:18

Well first of all he’s cheated several times and you’ve put up with it - that alone would’ve been the end of the marriage for a lot of people. He knows by your actions that you’ll put up with it so he won’t change.
You also work for him which complicates things as you’re reliant on him for money so that makes it seem more understandable why you’re still with him.
Now it looks like he is obsessed with this woman - at best it looks like he’s being a sex pest at worst he could be accused of sexual abuse by his employee!

ncgfryhfdg · 05/09/2024 10:23

Also really worried by your statement ‘but she’s not giving in’
at what point will he not take no for an answer - is this woman at risk of rape?!
afterall as you’ve said he already puts major pressure on you for sex… how far will this man go to get what he wants?

NorahNorah · 05/09/2024 10:32

It does read as being awfully disrespectful. You have the patience of a saint and must give yourself credit, for what might be described as, keeping your composure.

However, is there a part you are playing in this, are you interested in sex, with your partner, or with anyone?
This starts and ends with what you want, your needs and your belief in what is right and/or wrong.

pinkyredrose · 05/09/2024 12:11

He has no respect for you. Please ditch him and look for another job.

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