A question for women

[autumnishere2024]

Ever since I started having sex I've always found it difficult/slightly painful when he first 'enters' me. It takes a few seconds for this feeling to go away.

It has nothing to do with being lubricated and I don't have vaginismus. I'm in my 30s and don't do it much these days but I've always had this issue. Just wondered if this is a common thing for other women or if it's abnormal?

When my current partner first goes in yes, it can make me wince for a second or two. Over the years, depending on who I've been with, it's been normal for me and I've not thought anything of it.

I've always wondered if I'm abnormal, I've only had 2 sexual partners in my life (currently single and sexless!!). It's never hurt but with both partners, it seemed like they sometimes struggled initially to 'get it in' (sorry to be so blunt!), fine once in but it's like a struggle to find the entrance 🤣🤣 I almost have to lift my hips more or manoeuvre to help out! And it wasn't every time. But I figured if I had any kind of abnormal anatomy, a doctor/nurse or midwife would've pointed it out by now since I've had 2 children and smear tests, etc. I guess it's just me but it does make me worried for any future new relationships (if that ever happens!!). If there is pain, it's always worth getting checked out in case there is a potential issue but if it's been going on for so long, I don't know. Maybe the longer it's gone on, the more you anticipate the pain so it's affected you subconsciously??

A guiding hand from the woman is normal too. Some men have a good aim, but others definitely do not. If you point it in the right direction it means they can't "accidentally" start trying to enter the wrong orifice!

This happens to me if it’s been a while since we’ve had sex. As @jubs15 says above, I always guide it in. We also use lube every time.

Try (and enjoy) experimenting with different positions - you may find him being behind you is better, or you on top. .

It’s completely natural for the body to take a moment to adjust when things start heating up. Sometimes, focusing on deep, slow breathing and taking your time with more extended, intimate foreplay can make all the difference. You might find that when you allow your body to fully relax and your mind to embrace the anticipation, the sensation of him entering can transform from slightly uncomfortable to something incredibly sensual, making the experience even more satisfying.

I had the same feeling for about the first 2 years after becoming sexually active. It went away after that, but it has happened again when I'm with a man who has an above average penis length or girth.
If it's only for a little while and you're still able to enjoy the rest of the intercourse, I don't think it's a problem. What might be happening though, is that you're fixating on the expected pain sensation, which tightens your muscles and increases the pain. Try to relax, slowly breathe in and out and don't think about wheter it might hurt or not.

Totally normal I think when just getting started.

that’s why I prefer around 5inch. Not too big but comfortable

I have always had this. Pain lasts a few minutes then goes completely. I have nothing wrong with me physically.

A few years ago I read about a fear of penetration. This applies in many contexts not just sex eg needles. I definitely think I have this to some degree, and it’s probably more common than we realise.