I would really like to talk to anyone whose partner believes they have the above. For anyone who doesn't know, it stands for post ssri sexual dysfunction. I have name changed for this as I don't want it linking to my older posts.
I don't know if anyone watched the panorama bbc show on this condition but it was very eye opening to my partner when they watched it. They were sat in tears afterwards.
I don't want to go into the gory details of it all but we haven't had sex for nearly a year. It was faltering bit before that too.
He has been on and off antidepressants for years. No idea which one has caused this.
I've asked is it me, given him the chance to leave me, we've talked about it. Crierd about it. Argued about it. It's sent me into a spiral of despair. I know it's not his fault but I've never ever felt so ugly, so full of self hate or rejection as I do now.
He has virtually no sex drive left at all. No urge to at all. He said there is no zero attraction to anyone, not just me. He told the DR this.
It's come to a head my sex life is over in my late 30s. I've been with this man nearly 20 years. He is older than me.
I don't want to leave him. It sounds so sordid to leave someone over sex. Especially when you've been together so long. I just can't believe how much we've been through together and we've ended up like this.
I cannot tell you how many times I've cried in pain. Been trying on and off for a baby as well over the years. Looks like it might be IVF. I have so much weight to lose but that's another story. (He assures me it isn't my weight)
I know it's not his fault. It does not help he isn't a big talker so it took a few months before he told me how devastated he was about it too. He came off the tablets in march to try to see if anything came back and it hasn't. He has become really depressed again off the mirtazapine so he's gone back on them this week.
He's been on previously: sertraline, citalopram, escitalopram and once fluoxetine but reacted badly to it.
It's left us a shell that we once were. I just feel numb towards him now. I still cry, just a lot less as I have had to work through my own grief in regards to the loss of our life.
He said he doesn't want to open up the relationship. I said perhaps unfairly, so you don't want me but you don't want others to have me.
I have never ever cheated but I cannot go the rest of my life without sex. He is honestly not a perfect man by any means. But he has a lot of good in him and I've loved him for so long. I think I would be able to separate sex from love. Is it bad I've even thought about it? I hate cheats usually... but I never ever thought I'd end up here with him.
Please can someone who has been through this talk to me. It is so so painful when you are still in love and want to touch them but they can't touch you.
I've read some get it back but years after. Some never get it back at all. Some are left with numb genitals.
You know we tried some non stress kissing and massaging in bed. Promised there would be no escalation for quite a while. This is when I was still deluded we could change it. I got turned on from them touching me and I actually apologised for it 😠I felt so rapey asking him touch me when deep down he has no feelings to. It's actually broken my heart. I no longer ask.
What did you do? Are you still together?
I am sobbing writing this.