Ladies, what is a man to do..

[SaltandPepperBeard]

..when his wife doesn't initiate, even though they have had several conversations about it, where she says that she would make more of an effort, only to now be told it's more of a menopausal thing (which is obviously fair enough), the past couple of times she didn't refuse, but didn't exactly make me feel like she was into it, or even made me feel desired, even though i do literally everything to tease and please her?

Honestly, im at the point now where my hand is more experienced at teasing and pleasing!! 😂

Talk to a relationship counsellor both together and separately.

I think you’d be best posting this in relationships too for a broad range of advice. You’re more likely to get women there who have a low sex drive like your wife to comment with their experience and advice as to how you should approach this.

You’re more likely to get experiences from your side on this board! Although likely some useful advice too.

My husband doesn’t initiate often and I usually have to make the first move. I just tell him what I want - the same approach will probably not work with a woman 😂

Good luck.

The advice above about having some counselling is great and will help you at least communicate and talk about it more effectively.

I have a lower sex drive that my DH, and even more so now with being peri menopausal. He would do literally anything for me. But unfortunately if im not in the mood, its not on the cards. Do you have kids still at home? I find it much harder to let go when i know our children are home. Perhaps surprise her with a nice meal out and a hotel stay? But let her know there is no expectations for the night ahead.

This sounds good!

Is she rejecting your advances or just not initiating?

It’s very common for women to lose spontaneous desire in menopause but if she still has responsive desire then that may be something you have to accept. Be very careful that you don’t make initiating sex another chore for her to tick off as it will likely have the opposite effect.

If she does not want to have sex then it would not be unreasonable to explore with her if there are any relationship issues affecting her libido through couples therapy and if all that is fine whether she is open to seek medical help.