Wwyd

[onemorerose]

ive had a text exchange from an old fb, probably put on 3 stone since the last time we met which would normally have me say no to meeting again. But this guy is the best sex I’ve ever had. I still think about him occasionally when I’m masturbating. I’m very self conscious at my current weight though

Meet him. Worst case scenario - he runs away. Best case scenario - you have mind blowingly good sex.

If you do get lucky it might motivate you to get trimmer again.
Win Win!

If you meet him and things go well, you will feel better about it all.
If it's not so nice... Given what you say, would he make you feel even more self-conscious? Or will you simply "not feel better"?

I’m trying to put him off and hope that this motivates me to get trimmer and fitter! I’d feel like shit if he saw me and declined!

Just from a practical point, I know how long it's taking me to shift some weight - how long do you think he'll wait?

Genuinely try not to worry but if you start putting it off then he might think you’re not interested.
when my wife put on weight (I still thought she was sexy and a massive turn on) she would try to make the room darker than usual so have the lights off but a dimmed light on or even a few candles or the lighting from the TV. It helped her relax massively.
If the sex was great don’t be putting it off

Fact is my self esteem is on the floor. I’m not the same person as when we last met, am so fat, don’t feel sexy and have no confidence. I think it would set me back. Such a shame but he did say I could call on him whenever so I will try to use this as a wake up call and motivation! Thanks all

When I met my wife she was a size 10 and in the last few years she’s put on weight and now a 16/18. To be honest I really don’t care because I still fancy her the same as I did when we first met. Only slight annoying thing is that she won’t wear thongs or sexy underwear anymore compared to when we first met 😂.
The point I’m trying to make is that you’ve obviously got a connection with this person and that’s what matters. Chances are he will still fancy you and want to rip your clothes off. If he’s seen a recent pic of you he’s probably worked out that you’ve put on weight.
You could always drop it in conversation that you’re nervous to meet up because you’ve put on weight and see how he reacts, i hope he will be fine with it and you can then enjoy yourself.

Send a full length photo of yourself and suggest a date. If he is busy… you’ve got your answer. I doubt he’ll care though. People change, 3 years is significant.

Update, after I lied and said I was with someone he blocked me. Then a message a few days ago asking to meet. I had him in archive and it didn’t pop up. I thought fuck it and phoned and told him the truth about why I didn’t want to meet. He said who gives a fuck but I think for myself I need to feel good, sexy and confident

Ha ha.. Love his response.

Yes, be motivated to shed the weight, but don't put your life and opportunities on hold for it. The same opportunities may not be there later.

Our bodies and lives will change over time. Just be honest with yourself, embrace where your are on the journey and get on with it.

He is clearly keen.
Go with the flow and see what happens.
My experience is that good things happen🙂

Life is too short to wait and put things.on hold. Connection was there before and prob still there now.
Go for it!

Sounds like if you could get over your thoughts, you could have a great time and feel better about yourself afterwards maybe?

He's clearly not bothered at all, so why not go for it? Might be just the boost you need.

Another way to look at it is that casual sex has the potential to make you feel worse afterwards (if he ghosts etc) unless you already feel happy and confident in yourself.

He might not even care
I remember meeting with a FWB a year apart. He could not stop going on about my tits after I’d put on weight

Lol thanks for all the advice and cheering on, I think he’d love the massive tits I’ve acquired but he does have form for not being reliable. And in my current, not liking my body that much era, I think id take any perceived rejection to heart. So I’m doing the self protection thing and leaving it for now

I know exactly what you mean - best sex ever ex getting in touch - but in my case it's not that I'm fatter (well, a bit), but 20 years older. I didn't reply to the message as I couldn't face it, the reality for both of us. I doubt he'd care, but I do.

Another sorry update! He had been messaging quite frequently recently to meet up and I was busy (also putting him off cos I have not yet lost the weight) but he messaged today and I happened to be free and feeling like I should just get back in the saddle so said yes. We arranged a time for him to collect me. I got myself ready through bundles of nerves and 10 mins before the meet time he asked for a raincheck!! Wft is that all about!

@RogueFemale I hadn’t been seen your post but I say if that opportunity presents again just do it. I’m glad I said yes today even if I did get let down.

What was his excuse? Has he asked to rearrange?

Forget him. He cancelled 10 mins before ( which is disrespectul of your time) so he was never going to meet you because it would take time to travel to you. Onwards and upwards.

My wardrobe is full of clothes that are too small for me but I'm keeping until I slim I to them. I know, really, that's never going to happen.

In general, I think we all ended to grab opportunity when it presents. What is it footballers say? You miss 100% of the shots on goal that you don't take...

I’d called him to say I’d meet him instead of him collecting me, that was 15 mins before. He didn’t answer then messaged saying he couldn’t talk right now was with parents. He was at his parents house which is about 10 mins from mine. I replied about place change and that I was ready and he replied saying sorry he can’t make it now, so sorry about today and could we do Thursday (I’d suggested thurs before agreeing today and he was the one suggested today!) I was annoyed but just told him I’m sure he could get away from parents as I was making an excuse to get away as well and that it had taken me a lot of balls to meet him today. He said let me see what I can do but when it came to 10 mins past our meet time I just messaged saying don’t worry about it.

I cleaned the house, went to the gym and bought a bottle of wine instead. He was always flakey but what was the actual point of that. And it was all driven by him!

Fuck him (figuratively, not literally)