Partner referring to sex in third party

[Dooaleapa]

I’ve been in a relationship for a few months and he is great in bed. Occasional ED but he brings me to orgasm in other ways.

However there is something that makes me slightly cringe which is that he refers to us in the third party during sex. For example “is she getting wet?” “Does she like that?” “You are making him feel very happy”

has anyone else experienced this?

No, and it would be a massive turn off! 😬

We have used him and her with each other when referring to genitalia rather than the person, dont see a lot wrong with it.

Are you taking what he says the right way?

That’s interesting. May I ask how you mean it when you do it?

Maybe he thinks he's narrating a wildlife documentary! 🦁 'And here we see the male in his natural habitat...' But seriously, if it makes you cringe, maybe try playfully asking him to switch the channel!

@BarraNayk

yes that’s what i meant. He calls our private parts “he” and “she”.

My wife will say 'him' instead of 'your cock' or similar, I don't refer to her bits in any way. We definitely don't talk in the way described during the event, that does sound cringe but personal preference n all

Yes I've come across it before. I don't mind my pussy being called she by my husband. But calling his own penis "he" would feel weird.

Personification of genitalia I tend to take as harmless fun! What term would you prefer he use?

I guess it might then be a way of avoiding using crude language to refer to your private parts then? What's the alternative? Penis/Vagina? Cock/Pussy? Actually quite interested to know what other people use. Sometimes it can be good to use the more vulgar and crude terms but it does have the potential to ruin a "romantic" moment so entirely depends on the mood and the individual I think.

So how do you bring the conversation round to "are you in the mood"?

A subtle "is he feeling twitchy" is a lot better then "fancy a sh*g" especially said with a wry smile on your face and a glint in your eye...

All really helpful responses. Thank you. I think it is probably to avoid crude language.

previous partner used to refer to my penis as “it” as in it’s hard ( or not as the case might be) rather than you are hard , but not he

That would remind me too much of the old "suits you, sir" Fast Show sketch with the tailors.
"Ooh, does she want it, sir? Does he like that, hmm?"
Bit of a mood killer, as much as I did love the show.

Ah go on tell us😀... it is the sex forum after all and might add to our own experiences for something to try...

The use of “she” would not bother me. I sometimes refer to mine as “she” rather than “it”. My vulva is not gender neutral!

”Is she getting wet” is a bit over the top though.

This reddit thread might be informative (as well as quite funny)... note the majority of the names are male proper nouns, hence 'him'.

IMHO it's almost certainly not your partner referring to yourselves in the third person, unless he does that a lot in normal life too? Does he bring you a cuppa and say "is she happy with her tea then?" ... that would be a bit weird IMHO.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/dvsie3/what_nicknames_have_your_girlfriends_given_to/