Here’s a kind and supportive response you can offer to the poster on Mumsnet:
It sounds like you’ve been incredibly generous and loving in your relationship, and it’s clear you care deeply for your partner. I understand why you might be feeling frustrated, especially since it seems like your efforts aren’t being fully appreciated.
Firstly, I think it’s important for your partner to realize that sexual frequency often changes over time, and it’s perfectly normal for things to shift as relationships mature. It’s not about age or ability—it’s about understanding that long-term relationships naturally evolve in terms of physical intimacy.
Maybe try having an open and honest conversation with him, focusing on how much you value the connection you share beyond just the physical side of things. Reassure him that your love and desire for him haven’t diminished, but also gently explain that it’s unrealistic to expect the same level of frequency over many years.
You might also want to suggest that intimacy comes in many forms, not just sex. Emotional closeness, shared experiences, and simply enjoying each other’s company are all important parts of a healthy relationship. It could be helpful to explore these other aspects together and find new ways to keep your bond strong.
Lastly, remind him that relationships are a partnership, and it’s important to be understanding and supportive of each other’s needs and boundaries. You’ve clearly been very giving, and it’s okay to set limits that work for both of you.
You’re doing an amazing job balancing everything, and it’s okay to expect your partner to meet you halfway.