A rare breed - when he isn't keen on doggy but I love it!

[Celia24]

Been with partner for a year, we have a satisfying sex life overall. The first time I initiated doggy he wasn't keen but I made it clear it was a position I loved.

After that time we've done doggy lots of times, he has cum from doggy and for those moments when I really want to be pounded it 100% does the job! Some of my favourite sex memories are being pounded in doggy.

So last week id been fantasizing about him taking me from behind. But when the moment came it was about 4 thrusts then he stopped.

He said:

1. it wasn't intimate enough, he wanted to look at me
2. he feels we will need to get creative with pillows to achieve it
3. to make things worse he said the position was 'fine'. I think I have a great bum and it doesn't make me feel sexy to hear that!

I'm not sure why this is an issue now after a year. And it left me feeling unsatisfied. How can I make him realize how important this is to me?

Can you face a mirror so he can see you? You can look at each other that way.

God @Sparrowball I'm not sure I'm body confident enough.

It IS a possibility though, I have quite a large mirror...

If it's not his favourite position, you could start that way, then move to another ?

For many men (well... me) it wouldn't work because we'd just come too fast 😬

He wouldn't be the first man to begin with what the lady likes best, and watch out for her pleasure.

How about trying spooning? It wasn't a position I was overly keen on before meeting my current partner but it's now one of my favourites. It's still from behind but you can still have that intimacy. I still get proper butterflies when we have sex this way and my partner reaches over and turns my face towards his so he can kiss me. Also still a good position for a rough pounding and arse slapping! I particularly like it when he holds my free arm behind my back too!

Would wearing a basque help until you get used to it, low lighting etc?

The basque idea is a good idea but also add something he likes like a bj on your hands and knees in front of him on his knees whilst you look up?

Your right though doggy is best for a “jolly good seeing too” that we all need from time to time lol

It’s possible he’s worried about PE and this position can be quite intense. Maybe try on your side and him spooning may give you the same sensation but without the intensity of you on your knees. But if it means so much and you really need this position - don’t we all have things that work better than others - then work on this with him and show him what you love about it and how much you want him to share this with you.

I bet it’s this OP and he’s too embarrassed to say, which is silly but that’s guys for you.

Probably not easy to suggest, but my DH sometimes wears a sheath/penis extender which helps him last longer, and if he does come can keep going for a bit.

1 Are you vocal as to how much you are enjoying it during the DS? It is a bit less intimate but encouragement always does the trick (referencing to pounding always welcome)

2 if you love DS so much buy a sex position enhancer. Liberator wedge or ramp great investment. Heart wedge cute to leave out.

3 Genuinely if you asked me what I thought of a particular position my answer would only relate to the position. My little man brain would not correlate the question to the asthetics of your tush . If I am ever asked though I will keep this in mind 🙏

4 If PE is and issue we’re all no pre programmed that we have to last for ever. knowing that a good hard and fast seeing too is what you fancy takes the pressure off. Especially if you text your fantasy before hand. Always appreciated.

He also just doesn’t like it that much which is also fine. I find positions where I am standing and partner is lying down good for the power you maybe looking for but DS I would agree it different. 👍

Personally love that position but there are others I really don’t enjoy, each to their own I suppose

Thanks for the advice everyone!

We actually did try spooning after the doggy fail or more like a spooning hook and he couldn't last long so PE could explain it! It would be much hotter to hear if that's the reason, rather than giving me the impression he doesn't like that point of view 😃

I think I'll also get the wedge pillow thing as well so I've at least covered all bases. When it comes down to it both of our pleasure is important to me and this is a position I wouldn't want to give up...

May also try the mirror.

Don’t forget that sex has to work for both people, he is completely free to not like doggy and not do it 50% of the time

Yes you're absolutely right @Fs365

I just had a particular craving for it in a way I don't all the time, paired with not wanting to left me feeling unsatisfied. But I do need to bear that in mind despite what i want!

I have the wedge & ramp combo worth every penny!! Best of luck x

edited as on the vino in the sun.

If someone doesn't really like something then they shouldn't be expected/forced to do it, even 50% of the time. Would you say the same thing to a woman who said they didn't like anal sex for example?

Hmm that’s not really a fair comparison, the OP has stated that her partner has had sex many times in this position and it’s not an uncommon thing really for them

If the OP was asking about pegging 50% of the time that would be different, a bit like a man asking for anal 50% of the time

Try using a fulsome vibrator in that position with him using the toy on you.

@Celia24 , a very tricky one for us guys. I've had women I've had encounters with, where I've come really quickly/spontaneously, which ruins It for both of us, and those occasions that have lasted for hours. I love doggy, most guys enjoy It, even better if your partner loves a good pounding now and again in addition, but the only full proof way I've managed to be reliably durable if you will, is to really mix It up. Pull out now and again, vary the pace, slap my cock on her clit, slap her arse, kiss her neck, play with her, slam back in, build back up the pace again, lots of balls slapping action eventually, pull my partner back on to me, managed It for 45 minutes once, but that's the exception to the rule. You need to be jolly inventive, vary It significantly, fast, slow, twist and turn, great fun, but not easy to get It right, all of the time.

Definitely try a mirror gives you a whole new outlook 😂

Try other positions in front of it, ones where you both can observe each others reactions.

As a friend of mine once said it was like watching a porn movie....

It can also just be a "technical issue". In our case doggy somehow isn't working for me like it used to. The angles just don't really work out, best position is her on the edge of the bed and me standing behind it, but somehow it is still not 100%. It used to be better, so I'm guessing it is a combination of a softer bed (sinking in further) and dodgy knees.

As a man, the only time I've hated this is when my the partners personal hygiene in the anus area has been not great, the smell is awful.

Just a thought.

It could be that it makes him cum too quickly it does me. Fine if you’re having regular sex, but kids etc and able to do it as often means when we do doggy I don’t last as long, but I know my hun loves it so…. If you tell him much you like it without pressuring him that may help