Wife doesn’t want to give Oral

[FairSheep]

Newly married couple, have a good sex life but wife doesn’t like the idea of giving oral. We are both Muslims, told her it’s permissible in the religion but she doesn’t like the idea of it at all. Anyone been in a similar situation who eventually convinced their partner? she likes receiving it but not giving it which seems unfair lol

There was a similar post on the Muslim board but from a woman whose husband decided not to do it anymore. Not sure if it might be worth a read?

Some girls will
Some girls wont
Some girls need a lot of loving
Some girls dont!

If it’s going to be a problem… that you can’t live with…
you will have to fire her off…
only you can answer that..

While it is nice for it to be reciprocated not everyone enjoys giving oral. As you are newly married give her time and she may come round to it of her own accord

It's one of my favourite things to do

I really feel for you OP. I feel for her too, actually. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Giving a man pleasure in that way is an incredible turn on. It’s always on my agenda.

You can’t force it - but I believe you should never take what you’re not willing to give.

whatever the religion its her choice and should be respected

I was married for 27 years. My wife never gave me oral; she kissed my penis once or twice. I occasionally gave her oral which I enjoyed, and she disliked even when she orgasmed.
I am now married for the second time and we both like giving and receiving oral.
It varies and nothing is essential.

Hear hear

She may end up wanting to do it, if you are not long married how long have you been having sex for? My husband was quite inexperienced when we met- although not a virgin, not far off it tbh… and he didn’t fancy giving me oral, which was disappointing but he was more important to me and our sex life thrived without it. Around 5/6 years after we married he began to just relax more around sex and over the following years his repertoire has grown and we are far less vanilla than I ever imagined he’d be!
So @FairSheep just relax a bit and enjoy your pleasures with her and ensure she also has many pleasures. Maybe try giving her oral from above so your penis is nearer to her, and becomes more familiar and “friendly”… I love to start oral on my husband when he is soft. It’s so cute ☺️

Don't focus on it as a transactional thing. I personally think for women sexual freedom can come a lot later like in your 40s. Before that some things can feel like ooh I'm not meant to do that. But in your 40s you're swinging from the chandeliers.

You should never try to "convince" your partner to do something sexually. You might want to rethink your approach.

All you can do is express your wants and desires, ask her about her wants and desires, and talk as openly as possible about how you both feel. Ultimately, if she doesn't want to try it, don't coerce her into it.

I agree! It may just take time and he shouldn't force the issue. It's a positive sign that his new wife enjoys receiving oral. My wife is also culturally/moderately Muslim and was relatively inexperienced. She was a virgin when we met but I believe she had given/received oral with few guys in medical school before me (and also had sex on a few more occasions later during times when we had briefly broken up). But our sex life together has become much more adventuresome since settling down and getting married and she continues to have a really high sex drive. I also enjoy it when she starts going down on me from soft. She has always swallowed, too (I love that about her).

Thanks guys, guess I will give her time and hope one day she may open up to that idea, if not I guess it is what it is!

if not I guess it is what it is

If there's something you want from your partner that they don't, it's a compatibility issue.

If I knew my partner would never engage in a sexual act I enjoy, I'd end the relationship. I wouldn't want to live knowing I'd never experience that.

Eventually, you'd likely seek it elsewhere.

@charlieinthehaystack

whatever the religion its her choice and should be respected

I agree with this. But he doesn't have to stay with her.

Surely there are many more important factors in a marriage than this one issue, and OP (who is a good man) had already processed this healthily before your comment. Life’s not always about “me”.

There are, but what’s important varies from person to person. For some, it could be very important; for others, not so much. If it's important to them and they want it in their life, why settle? You only live once—don’t waste your time.

When l read posts from people who have gone into marriage without discussion into likes, dislikes, wants and needs, l have a nix of sadness and bewilderment.

OP are you giving your wife oral?

If she doesn't want to she won't do it personally I love giving my dh oral and will go at him for hours and he does give me oral but I definitely do him more

I would say if it is a big issue to you OP then you need to think about weather you can live without it

Mrs D will only do it when she's proper mad for it so it's seldom so when she does it it's like a big treat