Angle of vagina changed

[sailawaywithmehoneybun]

This is not the sort of question I feel comfortable asking my friends, and all I ever hear is how wonderful everyone else's sex life is.

Has anyone else experienced a change in the angle of your vagina after childbirth, causing issues with some sexual positions?

Mine almost heads downwards (sort of towards my anus) instead of upwards like it used to. I can't discuss with DH he's the biggest prude on the planet and avoids sex anyway (always has pre children too)

I dream of leaving DH one day (lots of problems in our marriage not just with sex) and I worry that I'm broken and a good sex life will never be possible for me :-(

Yes I asked for a referral to a gynaecologist, waited 9 months for the appointment. He refused to even examine me. Told me all my problems are to do with me and my husband and we need to book a babysitter and have some date nights to reconnect. Never been more humiliated in my life.

Good sex is possible of course. Not all men are the same and sex doesn't feel the same with every man.

But you're not broken because you're struggling right now, low self-esteem and low mood perhaps but it's not something that will plague you your whole life.

I’m more than a little rearranged down there by 2 vaginal births including one with forceps.

After over 20 years of marriage with a prude I’ve branched out and had sex with three different men, with varying sizes of generalised in the last six months.

1. No complaints from any of them.

2. I really should have done it sooner!

Genitalia not generalised!

Omg yes!! Thought it was only me. Completely different inside and out after assisted birth. (Female) GP also ridiculed me for querying all the many internal and external changes. Flatly didn't believe me and made out I should just be grateful my child and I didn't die in childbirth. Too fragile then to fight for myself then but 15 years later I'm still angry about it. Shocking. Sex is possible, but the horror of being so rearranged and then belittled for being upset at feeling mutilated meant no more kids for me.

I haven’t had the same issue as you OP, but wanted to chime in on this comment. I had some issues after childbirth, and the “medical” advice I was given was to “drink a gin & tonic and try to relax”. What a fucking joke. Push back and don’t accept the treatment you’ve been given, particularly as you’ve waited 9 months. Demand to see a different gyno and to have an actual exam FFS. The patriarchy is real in the NHS, particularly when it comes to post-childbirth issues. Refuse to accept it and to be pushed aside.

I was once told in conversation during a smear (as you do!) that angles of women can be quite different.

l would not think for one minute this would interfere with a healthy sex life. From what you describe a pillow under your bum may help, but that can be advantages anyway. You just need to find someone to have a healthy sex life with, and not a prude.

Moving on in France, the support giving is very different post birth; midwives and medics get working with you on kegels etc more or less straight away. Possibly not welcome by mothers at the time but definitely beneficial in the longer term.

As StarlightLady mentions book a smear.

I didn’t quite suggest that. I was quoting a conversation with a nurse who sees women day in day out. “Booking” a smear if you are not due one is more or less a non starter.

Ach, I feel quite sick hearing about the ways some of you have been treated, I was treated really badly and humiliated after giving birth too. Was a long time ago and I’m furious now rather than embarrassed.
ANYWAY, I think I had a partial prolapse, it didn’t really affect me but a doc told me at some point 🤷‍♀️ could that be possible for you? I’m sure a lot changes. I would definitely get an appointment with a female doc or book a regular smear and use it to broach the subject, staff should be much better than that stupid doctor and I have had some lovely understanding nurses/docs. Then at least you can get the reassurance that it’s different but normal, if that makes sense.
Grr I can’t believe we have to fight so hard just to be treated with dignity.

Thank you all for your responses. I've just had a letter that I'm due for a smear so will try pluck up the courage to speak to the nurse.

Definitely worth it to put your mind at rest 💐

Please don’t seeing it as needing courage. Sexual heath is so important and it is part of the nurse’s job. x

If you can afford it, see a private urogynaecologist

To the lovely lady's that have been crazy advice by the medical profession. My reply would have been " Is that so! Then please put this is writing and I will take this issue further with the British Medical Association.