OK to spit on my vagina and ignore me saying no?

[jubs15]

The other night my boyfriend's room was boiling, to the extent my clothes were sticking to me. He wanted to go down on me and I said no, because I was sweaty. He said, "Hang on a minute, I'm not going to lick you", dropped spit straight from his mouth onto my vagina, then started giving me oral sex anyway. I have seen signs of his porn use affecting our sex life. Do you think all this is another?

I've seen guys spit on women like that in porn and although I went on to enjoy him going down on me at the time, I've since wondered if it was not OK that he did it when I'd specifically said no.

We didn't actually have sex. Me wanking him off and going down on him for ages didn't work. He had to finish himself off by hand and I had to tell him not to cum on my face, because it was looking very much like his plan. I spoke to him about his porn use only a week earlier and he's clearly not cut down. I'm getting sick of compensating for it, tbh.

The fact is that you said "no" and he did it anyway. That is not okay.

I am a female. Who enjoys sex and would happily indulge in any of my husband sexual fantasies as he would with me.

It’s actually hilarious that you think that if I’m a woman (which I am) I must think that sex is all about my husband. That’s crazy! Can I not just enjoy sex? Sex is about what we both enjoy. Yes my husband watches porn, no this does not bother me. I have no idea if any of the things we do together are from porn I’m happy to try anything and see if I enjoy it. Surely all men get there ideas from porn? How else would they know what to do? The OP isn’t happy because she feels the things they do are from porn? But have you ever thought how men know how to go down on a woman or anything wise they do? It’s not like they’re shown a video in school.

Too much hassle for three and a half months, throw him back in the sea.

This is abusive. He clearly has no respect for you if he's doing things you've told him you don't want. Time to get rid.

This is about consent. He should ask for your consent before proceeding.

I don’t get my ideas from porn. In fact if i see some new thing in porn I’m highly sceptical of it.

Mostly i used to read my sisters magazines when i was younger, cosmopolitan was full of sex and men’s health. ive read books on sex, And nowadays I’ve learned online too and ultimately learned from what my partners like.

i dread to think what or be like in bed if i’d got my ideas from porn

and if my partner got her ideas from porn she’d be really shit in bed! What the women do in most porn is not my thing at all

Definitely walk away from this. He's disrespecting your clear boundaries very quickly. He sounds incredibly entitled. Red flags all over this & you deserve better.

What he has done without your consent is truly appalling.

Please read this definitions so you're in no doubt about the unacceptability of his actions:

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rsa/rape-and-sexual-assault/what-is-rape-and-sexual-assault/

Please take all the advice here and dump him immediately.

If porn was the only education or inspiration available none of us would exist because we'd have died out as a species millennia ago if we didn't instinctively figure out the nuts and bolts of it. We're not the only species to have sex and oral sex.

Porn might expose us to new kinks, but both partners need to be willing to explore them.

walk away now. he's sexually abusing you.

Slap your face or ass?

Not sexually compatible with you. Best to it end it now.

BTW: I'd find spitting on my cock to be one of the biggest turn-offs ever. You see it sometimes in porn as part of BJs, but I've never understood why.

I was once asked to do that @CuriousD. Told him I was far too polite and well brought up 😂

Irrelevant. I don't want to be slapped, end of.

The porn won and I ended the relationship. I'm very glad to be out of it.

Really? So everything you do in bed you learnt from watching porn? Or is it just men that need to watch porn to learn what to do? My advice to those sad men is to try talking to their partner rather than watching porn which is all made to appeal to what men like to see rather than being anything about what women like.

OP this bloke sounds vile, set your bar way, way higher. Finding someone that respects you, listens to you and cares about what you like in bed are basic requirements, don't settle for less.

You have made the right decision OP ❤️. The first and last rule for all things sex related boils down to one word, consent!

Right decision OP well done