Blowjob

[Steve78]

On the rare occasion my wife gives me a blowjob or even a handjob it always seems like it lacks effort, sometimes she’s yawning giving me a handjob or telling me to hurry up and cum.
whenever I’m playing with her or going down on her I’m always making sure I’m doing the best I can and putting in maximum effort and well, she will orgasm fairly quickly.
I’ve mentioned it once or twice that it kills the mood abit if she’s yawning or not making an effort or enjoying it and she always says ‘no woman enjoys having a dick in their mouth and a mouth full of cum’.
I’d also like to say that I’ve never forced her to give me one and it’s always been if she’s normally on her period and we can’t have sex or we don’t have time for full on sex.
i almost feel like saying no when she offers as I know she gets frustrated aswell if I take a long time to cum.

I don’t like having a dick in my mouth either. 🤷‍♀️

Well, I love giving a blow job and having a dick in my mouth as she so eloquently puts it, but perhaps she just doesn't and that's that. She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't like.

I’d only do something if I enjoyed it, if my wife was to never give me a blowjob again because I know she doesn’t like it I wouldn’t be bothered. I suppose because she’s initiating giving me a blowjob and not trying and I’m not enjoying it, it can make it abit awkward and it’s quite difficult to bring up in conversation as I don’t want to upset her in saying I’m not enjoying it.

.

😂😂

I’d never make her do anything she doesn’t want to. She will initiate giving me a blowjob but if neither of us are enjoying it then it’s quite awkward. It’s abit difficult to approach without being fairly blunt and to the point.

Why is she initiating doing something she doesn't like? I think that's the question you need to ask yourself.

I’d rather not get a blowjob if she doesn’t like it as it just kills the mood for me and probably for her aswell if she isn’t enjoying it.
she made it sound like all women hated it as she gave the ‘well all my friends hate it aswell’ so I just assumed what she was saying is right 😂
I love going down on her and I could do it for ages and I find it massive turn on seeing how much she enjoys it.

That is sort of my point, I wouldn’t expect her to do something she isn’t into and vice versa.
even after all these years together it seems quite an awkward conversation but I think it’s because I don’t want to offended her by saying I’m not enjoying it and she’s probably thinking I love getting a blowjob so she wants to please me.

But didn’t she tell you that “all women hate it”? Presumably she counts herself as a woman, no?

Maybe she’s doing it because you go down on her
but sounds as if she doesn’t enjoy it

I don’t mind oral. Something about being in control

always prefer giving a bj straight after he comes out the shower.

then he has to get back in to clean up

I absolutely adore giving a blow job. DH’s leg always start to twitch/jiggle when he’s about to cum and I love it.

So basically

• She doesn't like giving blowjobs
• She does it anyway
• She dislikes it so much that she can't feighn some enthusiasm
• She mostly does it while on her period, when you can't have sex

This tells me that she has a sense of obligation to sexually please you. As if it's a wifely duty to make sure you have regular sexual satisfaction, even when she's not in the mood, doesn't want to, doesn't enjoy it.
That's problematic.
I don't know who or what gave her this idea. Maybe it was you, maybe it was something she picked up elsewhere. Regardless, this kind of medieval view on sexuality is horrible.

I understand it's a hard conversation to have. But are you open to having an honest and safe conversation with her about what you might have done to contribute to the idea that she needs to meet your sexual needs even when she doesn't want to? And how you can begin to rectify this if need be?
Because if you can't have that kind of conversation, I would safely assume she's just going to shut down.

I guess what you’re saying is right but when you’re in the moment and someone initiates something that thought that they hate it goes out of your mind because naturally you will think if they are doing that without being asked then they must enjoy it.
she’s said things before about her circle of friends all moan about having sex with their husbands and they probably all do it about once a month at most and that’s probably similar to us maybe once every six weeks.
maybe she would be different if what her friends were telling her was different aswell

We probably have sex once a month/6 weeks so it isn’t like we are regular. Also it isnt all one sided, some times she might be horny but it’s difficult to have sex because the kids are still awake so I’ll play with her and get nothing in return but she will be happy.
I’ve never once said to her that she should be giving me a blowjob if she’s on her period or if we aren’t having sex.
Id be comfortable to have a conversation with her but its just the wording and if someone told me that I didn’t need to do something because I’m not putting any effort in then I’d probably be abit disappointed.

Lucky husband 😂

She knows I love going down on her so maybe that does play a part in it that she thinks if I’m doing it then maybe she should but I don’t want her thinking that.
A few times when she’s had a drink and given a blowjob it’s genuinely been the best I’ve ever had but outside of that it normally ends up with me masturbating until I’ve nearly cum and then she will finish it off.
she must enjoy it sometimes? But maybe she has to be in the perfect mood

Firstly, it doesn't matter whether other women do or don't like giving BJs. It only matters that she doesn't. She's unequivocally told you she doesn't like it.

Framing the question as "Why are you doing it then?" is quite accusatory and, as you've identified, could be seen as a criticism. I certainly wouldn't say anything to her about lack of effort or enthusiasm!

You clearly love your wife OP. Tell her how YOU feel (I know that's hard for men!) Something along the lines of "I'm worried that you're doing something you don't enjoy in order to keep me happy. But your comfort is more important to me than my own gratification. If you're not having a good time, then neither am I. If you'd rather not give BJs, then that's fine by me but can we talk about it openly and then make a decision?"

Yeah I agree, can't generalise all women.

P.S. 🦆😋

Haha 🦆, I’ve noticed you put ducks on a lot of your comments now 😏

It's my new go-to emoji. 🦆 Wasn't fairly represented, but I want to change it now 🤫

It's ok for your wife to not like to give BJs, but it is the yawning and asking you to hurry up that is very rude and a major turn off. It certainly is time to have an honest conversation, outside the bedroom, about how it makes you feel. Is she doing it as a wifely duty only? Seems to be so. Have you openly talked about what each of you like or don't like? It would then make it easier and less awkward in bed. If you find that there is no resolution, talking to a sex therapist might be beneficial.