Fwb - with existing friend?

[namechangesexboard]

Thinking of going for this with a friend I know already, I'm pretty sure they would be up for it, but wonder if those who have a fwb started the friendship with the benefits, or were they a friend only, then you started sleeping together? I'm not able to commit to a relationship right now but do have a friend who may be interested in the with benefits. Were you just up front with the friend and said how about sex too? If they were a friend already? Interesting about how you took that step ...

I think most of my relationships, including with my now husband, started as friendships.
My fwb I met online and we were both very clear about what we were looking for. Finding someone that genuinely wanted a friend as well as sex wasn’t easy and I think being clear about what you mean by fwb is the tricky bit. For me it means I want to know you well, care about you and feel cared for, enjoy sex with you, but I can’t make a romantic commitment and don’t expect one back.

For some it means respectful, consensual but casual sex and the friendship bit isn’t important.

This! "I want to know you well, care about you and feel cared for, enjoy sex with you, but I can’t make a romantic commitment and don’t expect one back."

Yes this is what I want thanks for helping me clarify.. my life is busy complicated and work focused right now and the romantic entanglement is not something I could honour, and I don't want to mislead him.

I think it's complicated with a close friend. It's usually one person wanting all the benefits of a relationship, whilst the other feels undervalued and used. So you both have to be completely on the same page. And even then, still be aware that you're unlikely to go back to the friendship you once had, once the arrangement has ended for whatever reason.

It depends on the friendship.

Really really close friendship and share emotional feelings with each other then no.

A friendly type of acquaintance that you pass the time of day with, is in your life but not a crucial part of it then yes.

Personally I prefer people I really get on with nut have no part of my daily life and we meet up when we're free.

@Mysticguru yes I get this. I don't think it could work for me with a friend enmeshed with my life and social group etc. The friend I have in mind is outside my main life, I know him through a specific 'thing' and we do not know each others' families friends etc. so he is tangential to my life.

I am intrigued by if it could work, I've never had a fwb before. I am relatively recently out of a relationship and miss sex and the fun of that but know I'm not in a position to commit emotionally to anyone short/medium term.

@namechangesexboard

Sounds like it has the basis for a FWB. If you do discuss it with him then set strict boundaries and be prepared to stick to them even if it means being HARD.

And vice versa, he might set boundaries for himself that you don’t like

Once you cross the line, you may lose your friendship forever.

Or you may have a friends with benefits forever,

I was friends with my long term friend with benefits for about 15 or more years before she become my fwb.

It was a few discussions and just a feeling that it would work.

She knew my wife was on board as we'd talked about it.

We had kissed a few times previously, once a very passionate drunken kissing session, so we said let's spend a night together and see what happens and all these years on we still spend maybe one or nights a month together.

My previous fwb was a friend for years already, and continues to be a friend now. The only potential issue there, is that future DPs can be a bit put-off by the continuing friendship