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If you're married / LTR, would you have a threesome with your partner, and if so, what gender would you prefer the invited guest to be?

32 replies

ThatDreamyOchreWasp · 17/07/2024 10:50

My husband is on board with this, and I am, too, but only if the third party is a guy. Anybody else the same, or is this selfish?

OP posts:
MySXforumnn · 17/07/2024 11:26

We have discussed this. DW wants another male, I want another female, however I am more open to another male than she is another male. I have always been curious, but she has been with a woman before so doesn't have that curiosity anymore.

Who knows if it will ever actually happen, but it is frequently discussed and, in theory at least, on the table.

Dexysmidnightstroller · 17/07/2024 13:09

I’ve done MFF threesomes a few time but usually not with long term partners.

If you’re with someone, there are all kinds of emotional risk involved - what if the other person is much better in bed than your partner? What if you start getting feelings for them?

BarraNayk · 17/07/2024 14:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Jimblebells · 17/07/2024 14:43

Then end of the marriage is in view... 2 max!

EnergeticTigerDad · 17/07/2024 15:49

I would allow another man for my wife. For clarification, it would just be both men pleasing my wife. I've had the fantasy of sharing her for a long time, seeing her release her inhibitions and be the wild sexual person she is underneath. She gets turned on in the bedroom when we discuss her with another man and asks if I'd like to watch her.

Fs365 · 17/07/2024 19:04

ThatDreamyOchreWasp · 17/07/2024 10:50

My husband is on board with this, and I am, too, but only if the third party is a guy. Anybody else the same, or is this selfish?

you are onboard with a 3rd person, but only on your terms , yes I would say you are being selfish

pliplop · 17/07/2024 20:19

ThatDreamyOchreWasp · 17/07/2024 10:50

My husband is on board with this, and I am, too, but only if the third party is a guy. Anybody else the same, or is this selfish?

I don’t think it’s selfish at all if you’re both happy with the situation. I don’t agree with a previous post saying it’s selfish if it’s on your terms as you both need to have terms you are happy and comfortable with and agree on. To say you are only on board if it’s with another man is absolutely fine if your partner is happy with this too.
If you are seriously considering it I would set some boundaries beforehand.
I’ve been fantasising about having one with another female for a long time but when I’ve broached the subject with my BF (LTR of 5 years), he says it’s not something he’d really want to do. I completely respect this so it will have to remain in my fantasies/porn watching sessions I suppose!

NorthernJim · 18/07/2024 01:55

It's not selfish, but if you aren't in agreement then obviously it's a no go. My dp has suggested MFM threesomes a few times. But I'm straight, and I'm not interested in seeing my partner with another bloke, so I wouldn't get anything from another man joining us (except likely jealousy and insecurity). dp on the other hand is bi, so having another bi woman join us would seem to make sense (happy with soft swing). But dp seems to have a bloke or two in mind to join us. So we've not progressed it because we aren't quite on the same page.

Hoglet70 · 18/07/2024 06:16

Oh God, I just couldn't. I wouldn't know where to start with another woman plus what happens if we have a bloke and DH is more excited by him than me?!!!! Argh! Also I am massively jealous so I think the whole thing would just drive me insane. Thank God DH is as horrified by the whole thing as me lol.

Jimblebells · 18/07/2024 06:24

Just don't understand how supposedly civilised humans can sink so low, behaving lower than dogs, completely depraved. Just because porn actors, who are paid to do this for excitement, do it, doesn't make it something married couples/LTR do. Basest humans.

pliplop · 18/07/2024 09:15

Jimblebells · 18/07/2024 06:24

Just don't understand how supposedly civilised humans can sink so low, behaving lower than dogs, completely depraved. Just because porn actors, who are paid to do this for excitement, do it, doesn't make it something married couples/LTR do. Basest humans.

Different people enjoy different things. If it’s not your cup of tea, take your judgement and scroll on

MySXforumnn · 18/07/2024 10:14

pliplop · 18/07/2024 09:15

Different people enjoy different things. If it’s not your cup of tea, take your judgement and scroll on

I completely agree @pliplop

bananas99 · 18/07/2024 12:24

I'm female but definitely only be interested in MFF.

Even though I've only ever had sex with men, 2 men just doesn't appeal to me so think it's down to personal preference.

NewGirlinClass · 18/07/2024 12:26

As a Bi woman I am sometimes invited to be the 3rd in a 3some with an established couple. Often they use the terms 'experiment' or 'experience'.

Sometimes the woman is genuinely curious about what is is like to have sex with a woman. OK I accept that, but why involve your DH or DP. Go on SM and arrange a date. Or come and chat me up in a bar the way you would a man.
Sorry hun, bi women are not here to enhance your porn fantasies, neither do I want to be set up to be screwed by your man as the finale to the evening.

pliplop · 18/07/2024 14:15

NewGirlinClass · 18/07/2024 12:26

As a Bi woman I am sometimes invited to be the 3rd in a 3some with an established couple. Often they use the terms 'experiment' or 'experience'.

Sometimes the woman is genuinely curious about what is is like to have sex with a woman. OK I accept that, but why involve your DH or DP. Go on SM and arrange a date. Or come and chat me up in a bar the way you would a man.
Sorry hun, bi women are not here to enhance your porn fantasies, neither do I want to be set up to be screwed by your man as the finale to the evening.

I understand this view but in my case, I’ve wanted to have sex with women for a long time but I’m not about to be unfaithful to my partner to fulfil that. I’ve kissed and engaged in foreplay with a woman before but never had full sex and now I’m with a man that I can see myself having a future with, I’m kind of wishing I’d gone further with women prior to meeting him. In that respect, the only way I could envisage being with a woman now would be to have a threesome but as it’s not something my partner wants, it’s not something I can see happening.

MySXforumnn · 18/07/2024 21:16

Dear random men, who have no apparent posting history

STOP FUCKING PM'ING ME

Everyone of you has been blocked and reported.

BeyondOlympicLevelProcrastinator · 31/07/2024 19:14

I’d be on board for either, MMF or MFF. DP was up for the idea when we met, but later decided he wasn’t comfortable with it

I’m also more than happy to play unicorn, in the right situation 🤷🏼‍♀️

bedtimeisthebest · 31/07/2024 21:10

My wife and I have a number of threesomes both FFM and MMF and I am happy with all of it. All of them have full sexual intimacy between all parties.

All parties have to agree and to know in advance if full intimacy between all parties is expected or not, an if not, not to cross that.

A previous partner, who was bisexual, insisted that any MMF threesomes we did did not include the Ms touching, sucking, fucking or even kissing each other whereas FFMs could include anything except what could be termed French kissing.

AllMyExesWearRolexes · 14/08/2024 14:05

At the risk of showing my ignorance, what's the difference between MMF & FFM? I assume 1 is 2 women & a man, the other being 2 men & a woman?
Why couldn't (or could it) it be MFM instead of MMF & FMF instead of FFM? What, if any, difference does the sequence of the letters make?
Thanks,

MySXforumnn · 14/08/2024 15:57

AllMyExesWearRolexes · 14/08/2024 14:05

At the risk of showing my ignorance, what's the difference between MMF & FFM? I assume 1 is 2 women & a man, the other being 2 men & a woman?
Why couldn't (or could it) it be MFM instead of MMF & FMF instead of FFM? What, if any, difference does the sequence of the letters make?
Thanks,

I dont think the sequence of the letters matters too much, just how you prefer to write it.

Happy to be corrected tho.

blameless · 14/08/2024 17:37

MySXforumnn · 14/08/2024 15:57

I dont think the sequence of the letters matters too much, just how you prefer to write it.

Happy to be corrected tho.

For three people, A, B and C, it's not necessarily the case that each person is happy to be intimate with both other people.
For example, if A and C are men, they may both have sex with woman B without wanting to touch each other - this is one version of MFM.
By comparison, a gay woman might join a bisexual woman and her male partner - MFF - but the gay woman has no interest in interacting with the man.
Others, with better powers of description will be along to explain further I'm sure.

MySXforumnn · 14/08/2024 18:11

@blameless I get what you mean, and I hadn't really thought about whether the pattern of the letters gives an indication of what might happen. I would just write the letters as they came to me, and the actual who goes where would be part of the arrangement discussion, but I guess some people would put more emphasis on how it was written.

Dexysmidnightstroller · 14/08/2024 19:21

I don’t think the letter order means much.

In my experience, MMF works better for the woman, as guaranteed attention all the time and if one guy needs a break you can continue with the other. Men can be a bit jealous though if one is much bigger and/or has more stamina.

FFM works well if both women are bi, or happy to experiment, not so much otherwise.

bedtimeisthebest · 15/08/2024 07:46

I really don't think the order matters. I have always put the letters in the order of which sex there are two of first, for no known reason.

With my wife, if the other person is male, it's always MMF and if the other person is female it will be FFM, and we always have full sexual intimacy with all involved.

With a previous partner, as I mentioned above, any time there was another male, she didn't want the two males to be intimate, but it was still MMF, but I see what the person means by saying it should be FMF as the female is separating
the two males

StarlightLady · 15/08/2024 07:52

NewGirlinClass · 18/07/2024 12:26

As a Bi woman I am sometimes invited to be the 3rd in a 3some with an established couple. Often they use the terms 'experiment' or 'experience'.

Sometimes the woman is genuinely curious about what is is like to have sex with a woman. OK I accept that, but why involve your DH or DP. Go on SM and arrange a date. Or come and chat me up in a bar the way you would a man.
Sorry hun, bi women are not here to enhance your porn fantasies, neither do I want to be set up to be screwed by your man as the finale to the evening.

This!

l feel the same. I am not a male entertainment centre.

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