NC for this.
DH is the most incredible man. We've been together for 16 years, have two DS. He's thoughtful, kind, happy. He's a fantastic dad. Never loses his temper with me or them. He cooks, cleans without being asked, works hard but makes sure he has time for us when he can. He's pretty much perfect and I adore him and would never leave him. I'm so lucky and our relationship is amazing.
However, our sex life is a huge issue. He's always had a lower sex drive than me but it was ok in the beginning because we were 18 and he'd not had much experience and I was happy to instigate. He has never instigated sex and when I do, it's the same old missionary, quick in and out. Sometimes he loses his erection or struggles to get it up in the first place. We've talked about this OVER AND OVER AGAIN. He says he finds me attractive which I do believe but I just think he's not bothered about sex much in general. We've had in depth discussions about what I need from sex and he does try for a bit (foreplay, changing up positions, etc.) but it always reverts back to how it was. We haven't had sex in months because, frankly, even when we do, I find it boring and not worth the effort. I think he buries his head in the sand about it a bit tbh. Whenever I bring it up and tell him I'm unhappy, he'll listen and apologise and try for a bit but it never lasts long and then I'm back to being sexually frustrated again whereas he carries on happily because he's not interested in sex anyway?
I don't want to leave him. I love him and we have a lovely marriage. We kiss and cuddle and spend time together and we are extremely close. He's my best friend. He absolutely has never had an affair and he 100% never would. Do I just resign myself to the fact that I'm pretty much celibate in my mid 30s and that's my lot in life?