Ugh.
It's really hard (or not as the case may be).
15 years between us which I suspect is the big issue here. Dh takes viagra for ED so there's never been any spontaneity in our sex life. Always pre planned. We have young dc together and no childcare so we're permanently exhausted and have very little free time. It's once a month at the moment and even then it has to be pre planned and when it comes to it feels like just another chore. That's not to say we don't enjoy it once it gets going. Or did up until now.
For the first time dh hasn't been able to perform even with viagra. I just feel so shit. A once a month occasion and it just ended so abruptly and awkwardly. I feel fat and disgusting. Logically I get it, we are exhausted and life is tough but I just feel like it shouldn't be this much effort.
Our sex life has never felt natural because of the ED issues, his initial secrecy about it and other issues. It just feels like hard work.
I love him and he's a good dh and dad. I wouldn't end our marriage over this but I need help on how to discuss it with him delicately because I'm really not happy with how things are.