One partner for ever...

[myonlinelife86]

I'm approaching my late 30s and the past 6 months I think I've had a revelation of sorts.... I said previous thought I had a low sex drive... not very confident perhaps that's why my sex life was a little stagnant with my husband.
But now I've realised it's because we don't see things the same way... he is very romantic and loving and sex is love for him. I'm the opposite... I actually don't want any love present at all! It's a release and fun that's it.. I don't want hair stroking... gentle kissing and being told I'm loved!

Sounds awful doesn't it. I also have realised I don't believe we are meant to be with one person sexually for ever... how are we meant to not be attracted to other people sexually for ever?
To be clear we are very happy and everything else is great I have no intention of leaving but is there anyone else that feels this way? And if so what the hell do you do about it?

Well, you have three choices, none perfect: go, communicate that revelation with your DH, or accept the difference and not tell him.

• go? If the difference of perspective you describe is important to you, then you're not compatible. You're happy, love him and all that, but you don't agree on something fundamental. So... find a relationship that corresponds to who you truly are.
• communicate? If you want to change the relationship but not the partner, that's your only option. You have to find a way to express your desire to open the relationship without losing his trust... some marriages don't survive this minefield, maybe professional help (counselling for you or for you both).
• say nothing? Open marriages are not the norm. I don't know about opening it up after you've promised each other something else. Basically if you don't want this enough that you are prepared to risk the relationship then accept it.

I hope alternative views will complete this answer!

I’ve been with my husband for coming up 20 years and am just as attracted to him as I was in the beginning.

OP, I was in a relationship with someone who had very different needs.
My efforts at spanking were truly pathetic as hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do to someone I loved dearly and wanted to romance.
In retrospect, I think if I understood the situation (and her needs) better, we could have found common ground, but it would have been similar to taking part in a hobby that you loathe to please your partner.
Wise words from @bosqueverde