Advise on fuck buddy situation

[RocketQueen19]

Ok so I'm currently single and myself and a former work colleague who is also single very randomly started a bit of back and forth flirting via messaging on social media etc it was very random and soon the talk got rather dirty on both parts and it became apparent that we have a sexual attraction, we have discussed meeting up and having a bit of no strings attached adult fun with each other , which is all i want with this guy, in a physical/relationship sense he is not my type at all and it's very random that I'm sexually attracted to him but it's all fun, my last relationship was long term and quite toxic so a bit of fun is all I'm up for.

I have never actually had a 'fuck buddy' before and I want to ensure none of us develop physical feelings and I don't want either of us to get hurt either.

We haven't actually met up yet due to me working away for a few weeks but he literally message me all through out the day and at times comes across quite sweet and caring with 'let me know when you get to your hotel safe ' etc etc , is this normal for a potential fuck buddy situation?

Also for anyone who has had a fuck buddy after meeting up and doing the deed, is it unwise to cuddle/hold each other afterwards , because when we have talked about all the long hard shagging we intend on doing my potential fuck buddy discusses doing that and I'm not sure that's the best way to de- compartmentalize , any advice from anyone who has had a bit of no strings attached fun on how to keep it at that I would appreciate it, because not going to lie but when he shows his caring side it does make.me feel a bit ... You know and I don't want to feel like that if you know what I mean?

In my (male) experience, FB needs to be more "transactional" than say, a FWB, much more play, fuck and go.....till next time. I have been there, for a short time and it was what we both needed.....and then we moved on. Fun, mutual benefit, but no real feelings except shared lust.
My long term (years now) FWB, is a friendship with a mutually developed sexual understanding and generosity.

If I may say so, your prospective FB, sounds "needy" and perhaps wanting a relationship.....I'd recommend caution if he can't separate sex from feelings. Go with your gut instinct. Your desire for an FB may well be what works for you, but is this chap mature enough to handle it? Good luck x

My wife and I both have fwb's with whom we not only fuck but have meals out etc and even hotel stays.

My wife also has a fuck buddy and that is all they do, fuck, well suck as well. They meet up, often booking a hotel room, go in, shower and then fuck hard and long but when it's done, they get dressed, possibly have another shower and then she comes home to me and he goes to his wife, who knows about the situation.

They kiss passionately during the sex, but when it's done they don't and they don't cuddle either.

They do kiss on the lips when they meet and part.

It's always what everyone feels comfortable with.

Thats very rare - how did this situation happen?

I had all of these questions too, and I posted something similar on here when me and my FwB were doing a lot of texting in between meet ups, and just generally getting on really well. Posting on here actually confused me more to be honest, because some people felt that something couldn't be casual if there were emotions involved, or if there was more than just a sexual connection. What I've learnt now after months of seeing my lovely FwB Is that you can decide on the parameters of your connection yourselves. Talk to each other about what you both want from it and what you're both comfortable with. My fwb is lovely and caring, we message in between meets to check in on each other, and we cuddle and chat after our very fun sessions. We then go back to our our mundane weeks , with no commitment to each other apart from what we've established. It's still a casual arrangement, we're both free to see other people. For me, it works brilliantly because I'm not in a position to be in a committed relationship right now, but I still really need an emotional connection and to feel cared for. Of course there's always a risk that one of you might develop feelings, but I would just advise that you talk to each other about it and if one of you isn't comfortable then you don't have to continue. Just try and enjoy it without overthinking things too much, if you can. Take care!

What is it that you want - a weekend away; an all nighter at Premier Inn or would you be satisfied with on the sofa and home by 11.00?
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I think the main difference between a FB and a FWB is in the name.
A FB is just that. Someone you have sex with. Nothing more, not even friendship. There is no texting other than planning a date and time, no involvement in each others lives. You're already way past this.

A FWB is mainly a friend, and only a friend. With the one expection that now and then there is also sex, but the sex doesn't define the relationship. The friendship does. And if the sex ever stops happening, the friendship wouldn't have to die down. However, friendship also needs to have boundaries to not cross over to a situationship, which kind of lingers between FWB and a couple. You don't hold hands with your friend or kiss them on the lips (outside of the sexual moments). You don't text them goodnight or check up on them. You don't behave any differently than you would with a friend you're not attracted to. You don't have your intimacy needs met by this person. No dates, no romance, no compliments, no flirting the whole time.

Cuddling after sex is a gray area, since this can be seen as part of the sexual experience, just as foreplay. I think the best boundary would be that the cuddling doesn't happen outside of these moments of sexual activity, doesn't happen after you've gotten dressed, and doesn't result in spending the night or falling asleep in each others' arms. Because then you're right back to situationship. Also, no exclusivity, no jealousy. You wouldn't stop dating for a friend, so you don't for a FWB either.

I think before getting into anything with him, you need to know what he wants and whether he's on board with the boundaries that go hand in hand with these arrangements.

Who decides these definitions?? I just think the best thing to do is to have a honest adult conversation about it and decide on your own parameters and boundaries. Don't worry about how others might define the terms. It's not a science x

We had long conversations about the possibility of having an open marriage after about 10 years.

It started with us both choosing a fwb and we were both comfortable with each other's choice.

This eventually led to expanding it to more than one fwb and we even have a couple with benefits.

My wife had one guy from her past who gave her great sex but didn't want the fwb extras like eating out and spending the night with him so we agreed that he would just be a fuck buddy. I've met him and even joined in with her on a few occasions.

I can't even get one decent FWB...let alone several!

Me too!
Mind you, with my ED I'd be bloody useless!