New partner with ed

[Yoyo2021]

Hi,

I have a new partner, who revealed to me when we were very drunk and about to have sex for the first time that he had ED of course, I was very drunk & did not have a clue what it meant … I soon realised!

He is a lovely man. We have been together for two months now. I haven’t spoken to him about it or anything. I pretend I’m oblivious to the problem and if I does go down I never make a deal of it and carry on enjoying myself, so no pressure to him and he enjoys seeing that anyway!

however, it is now affecting my confidence. I tried to give him a BJ,handjob try to go on top or doggy but says no. When I have got my way he won’t stay hard in these positions for long. I know it is Ed but because I’m a size I8 I immediately think it’s because of my size!

what does make him semi hard is missionary and a lot of dry humping and rubbing his penis against me which then turns into some sort of sex. I find all the fry stuff a bit odd but I go a long with it anyway.

He always cum even if it’s not full sex.

I will stay with him but I’m wondering if all this is normal and if anyone can think of a way I can talk to him about maybe using viagra or something? Or at least letting me try something different on him!

X

This could be a sign of other issues. The issue could be physical or psychological. Either way he would be advisable for him to see a doctor to rule out anything physical.
If he is on medication then the doctor will know whether recommending viagra or cialis is safe to do so. Boner pills can affect high blood pressure. if it is psychological then therapy might help or just having open conversations.
You don't say how old you both are. Age also has an effect on a man.
HTH

There are adverts for Viagra etc all over the place, telly , magazines etc , just mention raise it as a “ shall we try some “, you can buy over the counter with no issues

ED along with frequent urination can be a sign of prostate cancer/
enlarged prostate/ other underlying illnesses. 12,000 men a year die in the U K of prostate cancer (33 a day)
I know three men who have succumbed to prostate cancer. One was in his forties and the other two just got over the sixty mark.

Get it checked before buying boner pills. It can be as simple as having a blood test to check PSA levels.

I think it's important that you talk to him about it, rather than pretending that it make things ok otherwise. It might be awkward but it will show if he is or not willing to get some help. He most certainly should speak to the doctor to see the best course of action. If not addressed, you will get increasingly frustrated.

Going off topic, but your not really right, prostate issues won’t really cause ED, I know this I have prostate issues and am under the care of a urologist

a psa test will show the hormone level in the blood but this can be a false negative as having sex the day before will cause elevated psa levels

even if “boner pills” do affect blood pressure that’s no bad thing as that what Alpha blockers do to control an enlarged prostate

ED is normally a result of prostate cancer treatment as the nerves can be affected or cut

finally “boner pills” are non prescription ( in the UK ) but any pharmacy online or in person will ask about other health issues and refer a man to a GP if needed

As I understand it when the prostate increases in size it does so from the internal walls and squeezes the arteries and vessels that carry,blood, urine and sperm therefore creating a blockage in those vessels. causing the back up of urine in the bladder and weak flow (frequent urination) sperm (non powerful ejaculation and retrograde ejaculation) and ED (lack of blood to penis)
Obviously atherosclerosis, high blood pressure a weak heart would play a part. It has to be said that if BP medication is prescribed taking boner pills could lower the BP even more and cause serious issues. Therefore seeing a GP is advisable. The GP has access to your medical records and if necessary can order tests if required (blood or BP test) The online boner pill supplier does not have the facilities and only goes on what the customer is putting into the questionnaire and can therefore be lied to.
I'm happy to be corrected. This issue needs more open conversation amongst men and couples.

@acpk55 @Mysticguru

Fancy taking this to the Dadsnet topic? Personally from reading on here can’t believe men will burn down there relationships and risk their lives by not getting the correct advice and support. It is very sad. DM me if you want to discuss .

@Mysticguru yes and no, the urethra runs through the prostate so you can get all the urinary issues, but erections are driven by a different set of muscles, nerves, blood vessels and hormones, so one won’t cause the other, that’s not to say some men might not have both issues, but they are not necessarily related

back to ED, there are lots of moving parts to make an erection work , hormones, nerves, blood supply, muscles , chemical reactions etc, most men who see a GP will walk out with a script for Viagra as it’s so effective - if it doesn’t work then it’s a urologist referral- since you don’t need a prescription ( or GP check) for Viagra most men can safely buy from a high street or online pharmacy as they as the same questions will be asked, if it doesn’t work then off to the GP you go for further investigation

as you probably know, Viagra was developed from heart meds and is still effective for pulmonary hypertension, so if are unfortunate enough to wind up in hospital with severe angina - Viagra is what you will be given to help with your blood pressure & flow no matter your gender

@Fs365
Yes I understand that the FDA has approved cialis for BPH (enlarged prostate). And I would also agree with the explanation on hormones. Once again blood tests can reveal any hormone imbalance. I think we're on the same page although I may have misinterpreted some research. Thanks for the clarification.
I have a concern that JUST buying boner pills OTC might be masking, which could be a serious problem. Men aren't known for attending GP surgeries for male problems. (Stereotyping)

Sorry OP for derailing your thread, but through these exchanges I hope you have more knowledge and information to discuss with your DP.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/sex-and-the-prostate-overcoming-erectile-dysfunction-when-you-have-prostate-disease-20090331100