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Original poster

Sex question

35 replies

Mia42 · 02/06/2024 09:13

My new partner is a little on the small side . We had sex for the first time last night and it didn’t go as planned ! There was lots of foreplay a bit of sex but he was losing his erection ! He didn’t mind we just continued minus the sex. Now I’m feeling really embarrassed about this thinking maybe I wasn’t good enough? I have had 3 children but my I’m toned down there I was checked over by a gynaecologist. What is going on ? Everything else is so good

OP posts:
DixonD · 03/06/2024 11:29

C1N1C · 02/06/2024 19:19

How much foreplay?

As a guy, just offering up another possibility. If there was 'lots', it might be that it just gave up in the end! It's happened to me... It's all hard and ready to go through the foreplay, but because nothing is happening, it goes soft. Men are quite visual, so best way I can describe it is that a Monet is quite impressive when you first see it, but try staring the same painting for 20 minutes (sorry).

Don't take it personally, they have a mind of their own! :)

😂😂

PinotPony · 03/06/2024 16:04

Opentooffers · 02/06/2024 19:37

I'm more intrigued as to how a gynaecologist would 'measure your tone' ? Not a thing in UK. Special pressure monitor that assesses your grip? The mind boggles.

Of course this is available in the UK. Many women suffer from pelvic or urinary issues following childbirth including pain and incontinence. Women's Health services on the NHS offer guided pelvic floor training. Part of that treatment and management is a vaginal probe which assesses your pelvic tone.

PinotPony · 03/06/2024 16:07

Mia42 · 02/06/2024 09:13

My new partner is a little on the small side . We had sex for the first time last night and it didn’t go as planned ! There was lots of foreplay a bit of sex but he was losing his erection ! He didn’t mind we just continued minus the sex. Now I’m feeling really embarrassed about this thinking maybe I wasn’t good enough? I have had 3 children but my I’m toned down there I was checked over by a gynaecologist. What is going on ? Everything else is so good

I suspect it was probably nerves. If you like him, I'd give him a second chance.

Don't listen to your insecurities... there's a whole load of reasons why a guy might lose an erection. Your perceived "loose vagina" isn't one of them!

Original poster
Mia42 · 03/06/2024 17:21

My gynaecologist examined me and it told me that my pelvic floor was strong

OP posts:
Fs365 · 03/06/2024 21:39

rosaleetree · 02/06/2024 19:16

It kinda makes me sad that he had errection issues and you automatically assume the problem is you.

The problem is with him. Could be many reasons- performance anxiety, health issues, self consciousness about his size etc.

Also makes me kinda sad that to think that men can be judged by how much blood he can keep in his penis

Original poster
Mia42 · 03/06/2024 22:19

I had a great night but I think I feel inadequate? Like maybe I wasn’t good enough? I mean we both had a great time but I’m nervous about a second time

OP posts:
SaraS12 · 04/06/2024 08:09

I wouldn’t take this as reflection on you.

Yozzer87 · 04/06/2024 08:18

Fs365 · 03/06/2024 21:39

Also makes me kinda sad that to think that men can be judged by how much blood he can keep in his penis

Show quote history

I don't think it's that he was judged in a negative way, but it is kind of important if you want intercourse. OP, if it's just down to nerves or a lack of confidence with a new partner, it might be worth giving him another chance. But it it's a long term issue, that's another thing entirely and its something you stick around to find out, or you don't. It all comes down to how much of an issue this is going to cause if it is a long term issue, and how much you like him overall and if you think he's worth staying with despite thr sex not being satisfying for you.

Samedaysameshit · 05/06/2024 07:23

I think it’s best to move on before you get to involved.
He may be able to overcome the nerves issue but that’s not going to solve the small issue.

Catullus5 · 06/06/2024 20:26

Mia42 · 02/06/2024 09:27

I suppose i just think if a man is excited enough he’s not going to lose an erection

As I've got older (though I'm a decade past 38) excitement isn't necessarily going to happen even if what's happening is hot, and even if I am excited I will lose my erection if it's not being used: worrying about this makes losing an erection certain. External things like stress, nerves, health issues are more likely to get in the way than before.

I agree with others here: you aren't doing anything wrong. Communication, as always, is where it's at.

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