Ok some backstory. I’m female, married, and never been great with using my hands on a man and need some tips. I’m pretty inexperienced, all of my exes were virgins and my DH was my fourth partner.
sex life has been rubbish (2x a month on average) and very much ‘grab some lube, get it over with’ due to lack of interest on my part / young children.
We are working hard to change that and are now having sex a few times a week. However during foreplay I don’t feel comfortable just lying there whilst he touches me and because I’m rubbish with my hands I tend to use my mouth. However he has said he doesn’t want to receive BJs as standard and wants them to be more of a treat.
he doesn’t like his nipples being touched. I run my hands over his back, in his hair, over his buttocks, kiss him, but sometimes feel like I need to do more in the appropriate area.
my hands are often clammy, he’s circumcised and I don’t want to just wank him off (which would probably be uncomfortable given the clammy hands and lack of foreskin), avoiding my palms and just stroking him with my fingers feels a bit twee (and would surely be ticklish / irritating?)
I have mentioned it to him but we are both very vanilla and don’t feel overly comfortable discussing stuff like that / being graphic. For example if I sent him a picture of my vagina it would turn him off, same with sexting. To be fair if he sent me a dick pic i’d cringe too. So basically looking for tips from real people!
also the thought of spitting on my hand or something like that first makes me feel a bit yuck, and we both enjoy not using condoms / lube so there’s no disruption during, it all feels a bit more natural. So not sure how he’d feel if I bent over to get some lube out of the drawer (which he hates anyway as it goes sticky).
thanks in advance.