Sex on a first date

[cheltsam83]

Chatting to a man on a dating app after being single for a while. On occasion we have talked about our sex lives, not sexting just talking about our likes. We are meeting for lunch tomorrow. He has dropped hints about being free all afternoon. Do you think he is hoping for sex. I'm not usually one for first date sex. So far through chatting I'm really attracted to him. Am I being to easy if he does want to sleep with me

Men always hope for sex.
Just do whatever feels right for you.

You said it yourself

I'm not usually one for first date sex i.e. sometimes you are

If you want to sleep with him then go for it. I think the risk is that if you are very sexual early on then the relationship is just all about that with nothing to back it up. But that's not always the case. And if you do have sex that doesn't mean you owe each other a relationship. People can change their minds and not have the same priorities as you, but as an adult you can make up your own mind. That way no one feels used if it doesn't pan out.

It all depends on the chemistry at the time. There are no guarantees whether someone will be a keeper or not, or you wanting a serious relationship, regardless of when you have sex.

My sister had been married years, met her now husband at a wedding and laid him within about 2 hours.

My husband and I slept together on our first date and everything worked out. If you want to sleep with him then go for it. If you’re not sure then don’t. There are no guarantees no matter what you decide.

It really depends on what you both are looking for and what you feel comfortable with. I have had sex on first dates where we both wanted something casual. Sometimes the chemistry can be quite strong, so you might end up with lots of kissing and touching.

If I'd only chatted to someone via OLD apps, I might have a sense of whether I was physically attracted to them, but meeting IRL is quite different for me.
If you're definitely not up for it, make sure he doesn't get any sense that you are. He's allowed to disappointed by that, as long as he respects your choice.
If you might be up for it, remember to pack some condoms and positively make your own decision based on the date. The question is in your head and IME you'll know your answer quick enough.
If you actively want to have sex on the first date (and thats perfectly OK, because men arent the only ones allowed to want sex), be prepared to accept getting turned down (because women arent the only ones allowed to say No).

He’s man so he’ll want sex. Don’t give inso early. It’ll make it more special if you give it more time and decide he’s worth it.

Women want sex too! It’s not a case of giving in or a case of giving it! If you want sex, knickers off, if you don’t, then no means no! No exceptions. But waiting does not make it feel nicer.

Absolutely agreed. Sex does not belong to any gender. PLEASE can we get past rediculous outdated ideas about sex!?

Yes I didn’t mean it would nicer, my point was that it should be when you decide you want to, rather than feeling pressured into doing it.

As long as you realise that it may be a one off in mind for him and you could be dropped after the event then I’d say do what you want. Personally I would be more wary in today’s world of internet dating.

Or, from a different perspective “…it might be a one off in mind for him her”.

🤣

Being brought up in France, any woman of a certain age and beyond, will understand, when it comes to sex in cars, why the French designed the 2CV with the gear stick on the steering column 🫢.

If he does want sex and you feel the urge, then go for it. Even if it turns out to be a one off, you'll at least have had a decent shag.

It’s up to you! You don’t sound like you want to give up the goods on the first date so don’t. It’s a bit trashy to be fair. I gave my now hubby a “special present” under the table at the restaurant we were at though which was more than enough to secure a second date believe me!

I may be getting too old to understand the subtleties, but how is a special present under the table in a restaurant on a first date less trashy than giving up the goods?

My thoughts entirely. And why is it considered “giving up the goods”? My body is not goods. I’d happily have sex on a first date if the chemistry is right and the passion is there.

But doing teenage type things under a table in a restaurant? Not on first date, not on 100th date. Never.

@StarlightLady I wouldn't say never. There's a time a place for special presents ... if the chemistry is rright.

Yes some men are awful sexist twats who genuinely don't respect women who have sex on the first date. That's why, if you feel like it, it's an excellent idea to have sex on the first date, so that you don't risk an ongoing relationship with a man like that.

I agree, probably best to find out sooner rather than later.