I have a female friend who considers herself liberal and easy going, socially and sexually. Her friendship group probably consider her the most open about sexual matters, as she happily discusses anything sexual, including her own sexual behaviours, with her friends.
Her core friends are aware that she has been having multiple ‘hook up/ NSA’ type relationships, including 2 that have lasted over 20 years. The status of the men didn’t seem to matter to her, i.e. whether they were married or in a relationship. She of an opinion that it’s the men’s choice as to if they wanted to cheat on their own partners, which I do agree with up to a point, but personally also feel she also has a moral duty of some sort.
Anyhow, in conversation she mentioned something that happened to her a few years ago. She had gone with one of her female friends to a local street festival (held yearly) and gotten wasted on alcohol and high smoking joints. Her female friend had had to leave early because she was ill, so she stayed for a while longer before spotting and asking a male friend she trusted to help her find a taxi home, as she was so drunk and high.
He agreed and tried, but because of the festival no taxi’s were available. But, as they waited he was giving her strong weed to smoke (he was the guy that supplied her weed). After a while as no taxis appeared, he tried it on with her, asking her if she consented. She nodded, and her took her to his place and had sex with her. She said he was continually offering her a joint on the walk.
The next day, when sober, she regretted what had happened, and confided in a few of her closest friends. They just laughed and one even said, that her ‘sex life’ continually surprised her. But, the point was – they all laughed it off and even egged her on to go on to have hook ups with him.
My opinion was that, given that the law states that someone has to be able to consent without impairment, it sounded like he technically raped her. I also said that it probably happened because his impression of her was that she might be ok with it.
I also felt that her closest friends let her down, and rather than take it seriously, had laughed it off as something they expected of her.
I’d be interested in the opinion of females in this group. Do you feel mistakes happen, and that its ok for a man to take advantage of you when you are drunk and high, or should there be accountability.
No offence, but I’m not looking for the opinions of any males.