Remaining friends with someone you’ve had sex with!

[pinkpetals1]

Would you be happy if your wife/husband remained friends with someone they had sex with?

Nope!! Definitely not.

It would depend on the circumstances tbh. Both DW and I are friends with people we had sex with before we met, albeit both ONS. No chance of a re-visit from either side.

Depends, friends with an ex from before you met them I see as a good thing. Someone you overlapped with for some reason, unless there was an agreement about not being exclusive…that would be a lot harder to handle.

I'm very good friends with a number of women I've had sex with. I went to one's wedding last month. Two years ago I did a reading at another's wedding. We are mates. Nothing more.

I’m friends with a number of people l’ve had sex with, so l can hardly expect different from others could l?

When I met my husband I was still friends with 2 of my exes, not really close but still hung out with them and in the same friends circle, he really didn’t feel comfortable with it, so I slowly lost contact with them, looking back I feel it was the right thing to do.

Yes - why wouldn't I? I still see one of my (very) serious ex-boyfriends fairly regularly, for drinks/dinner. And am in contact with a few others (including one of their wives!)

My DH has nothing to be worried about, because I'm with him and not them. Why on earth would there be a problem?

I’ve done a reading at a wedding for someone I’ve had sex with. DH has no issues with my friendship.

I'm friends with a few of my exs. DP doesn't have an issue with it and I wouldn't either.

Yes, absolutely. We both are.

This. Taking the lead on what your spouse is comfortable with is the considerate thing to do.

But why? Why should their discomfort trump your friendship? If they are a true partner (and if you are too, of course) then they should trust you. If they're uncomfortable, that suggests that they don't trust you, and that's not great in a marriage/partnership.

DH doesn't get to tell me who I can be friends with - whether male, female or ex-partners.

Because you’ve done the most intimate and personal thing that two humans can do together. If your partner is uncomfortable with a continued relationship/friendship, you could respect their boundaries.

Or they should respect yours? Or maybe people just aren't suited

Nope, sorry. Not buying that. Their discomfort doesn't trump my right to be friends with whoever I want to be friends with.

I’ve had sex with a number of friends over the years. We knew the score before knickers off and yes, we are still friends.

How far does that go though? How often can they just decide someone is too close to a friend?

It depends on who means the most to you. Your partner or the person you once had sex with. If that person was partner material you would still be with them.

To suggest its about 'someone telling you what to do, and who to be friends with' is incredibly naive and selfish. Its about respect and working together to make your relationship work. Im sure if the situation was reversed, you would like your partner to listen to your feelings.

Wouldn’t be bothered if DW had stopped friends with someone she’d had sex with, bothers me far more that after a lot of years together, she got back in touch with one of her exs and exchanged some quite obviously sexually referenced messages with him