Is it me or is it him!?

[Orangeleaf827]

Looking for another opinion!

My partner and my sex life was great to start with, but now not so much.
If he initiates things, we do it, no issues or anything. However, if I initiate sex he doesn't want to do it, I get told no or say we've got things to do, even when we don't.

Is there something wrong with me, or is it him!?

It’s him! Some men don’t like women to initiate …I actually read a thread yesterday on here where the female dp initiates regular sex and her partner is very willing but she just wants him to initiate! And that’s affecting her confidence as she seems to be wanted in that same way!
It must affect your self confidence when he turns you down like that … not at all fair. He sounds like he only wants things on his own terms .., does he have a similar attitude to other things in life? Have you tried to talk to him about it?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5048477-do-i-stop-initiating-sex-sad-and-feeling-confused?reply=134488624

this is the thread just in case you wanted to have a read

Thank you. I'll definitely give it a read!
It massively affects my confidence. I got out of a very abusive relationship 3 years ago, and I worked so hard on myself. I found the courage to get into another relationship and to get the confidence to be intimate, let alone initiate it.
I'm getting to the point that I don't want to be intimate, and I second guess whether it's me, my body (I have lots of scars), or if he's no longer into me.

I tried to talk to him about it prior, and he apologised, saying he never meant to make me feel like that, but then goes and does it all again.

I'm just feeling a little lost.

I’m really sorry you’ve had abuse in your past and you’ve had to work hard to build yourself up. Remember, he is finding you attractive as he wants to have sex with you ( when he initiates). Keep that thought with you. I think if you post this on the relationships board you will get a wealth of women giving you advice and support apart from little old me 😊 I do get where you are coming from. It’s rare but sometimes when I initiate my DP doesn’t want sex but it’s very rare but it does sting but I accept sometimes he’s too tired 😅and it’s not because he has an issue with me initiating as he usually loves it.
i do think you need to look at if your partner feels he needs to be control all the time / how other behaviors ..