How to be better at sex!

[Tiana42J]

Finally found a partner I actually really like and I'm worried I'm not good in bed. He's made me orgasm through oral, but first time sex was slightly painful as I was nervous. With previous partners, I just closed my eyes and thought of other things but here it's someone I feel strongly for. How can I get over my nerves? I'm usually very sexual but I just get freaked out.

I think it's important to give pleasure to the other person. Listen and watch how their body reacts from whatever you're doing. Whilst you're concentrating on your partner, you'll hopefully forget to be nervous. Plus, it'll become more relaxing with time.
Some say fake it, until you make it!

@B1rd I'm fine at giving pleasure but I still can't relax if you know what I mean....

I think you just need time. It will get easier the more you get to know each other. I think it’s normal to be tense and anxious the first few times.

If he’s nice tell him you are nervous, don’t want to lie back and think of England any more, and ask him to help you! Most men would be upset to think it was hurting their partner! I know I relax more if my partner is talkative and assertive. Would you find lube helpful? He should be helping you enjoy it rather than you be there worrying about not being good in bed.

If it has hurt because of lack of practice, you need ask your man to show down. Sometimes us men just want to thrust hard as we are in a rush to orgasm. However, if he likes you, he will understand.

Spend a lot more time on foreplay. Have a glass of red wine before the intercourse, it might help you relax.

Ensure you are well aroused and therefore naturally lubricated . However don't shy away from using the KY if you still need more.

Last point, use a toy to see if you still experience discomfort.

Final last point, if the pain persists with or without bleeding, see your GP

He's definitely nice and could see I was wincing a bit even though I tried to hide it. It's a mental block for me, I'm scared because I like him a lot whereas before I was able to separate sex and love very easily. This feels different.

Just tell him you are a bit "rusty" at DTD and nervous , if he has anything about him he will take it on board and adapt to suit/take his time. I am sure you will get over it.

communications is the key, dont be shy

He needs to know that! He should be extremely flattered!

It’s tough but it’s time for lots or oral work. And I mean talking you filthy lot. Talk talk and talk some more. Understand what you both want!

Talk to him. Ask him what he likes and discuss things you’d like to explore like massage, oral
sex, positions etc. Ask him about his fantasies and maybe text about what you’d like him to do or what he’d like you to do to him. Take your time and communicate. It’s okay to be vulnerable with each other and if you’re uncomfortable with anything then you need to be able to talk about this too. Good sex is even better when you can communicate and trust.

@fourelementary thank you, we do need to talk more. I feel like after the painful thing, he's avoiding talk like that as he was a bit freaked out it happened. I hadn't had sex in a while but I know for sure it was nerves on my part. Before that, we talked filthy a lot.

Update - it has been getting much better. I've relaxed more and allowed him to pleasure me. Before, it was always me in control doing everything. I was scared of giving him control, thinking he wouldnt like me if i just lay there enjoying things. He seems to prefer the change