I'd like to enjoy receiving oral more than I do

[bakedpotatoforlunch]

Apart from the odd occasion I never have really. I just find it a bit uncomfortable and want to get on with penetrative sex. I'd really like to be able to enjoy it more for myself but also because my husband loves it and wants me to enjoy it too.

Generally speaking I enjoy sex a lot including giving oral to him which sometimes I find very arousing. But just not receiving. Is anyone similar to this? Is it resolvable or is it something which is just me?

Before anyone comes along and says that you just haven't had " good" oral sex, I'll say I don't think that's necessarily the case. People like different things. It may be that you like a particular type of stimulation in order to orgasm or it might be a mental thing that puts you off oral, it's all perfectly acceptable. You could guide him to do the things that you like during oral or you could focus on other things that make you feel good and give you pleasure. Sex is about enjoyment. Women have a harder time orgasming than men, so make sure that you get the stimulation you need.

I don’t like it either and never have, from either men or women. A couple of women have been passably better experiences than most of the men, but I still wouldn’t say I enjoyed it. Just not my thing, no longer feel bad about it.

If you want to try, think about which aspects of it / which of the sensations you particularly dislike, then work around. You might like e.g. being fingered alongside some delicate clit licking much more than being devoured with his full mouth (and face) buried in.

In the past l have been criticised on MN for having a little conversation before having sex with someone for the first time. In short, no oral = no entry; l won’t have sex with someone unwilling to go down on me.

For me, it’s the mosr lovely sensation in the world, but as a PP said, we are all different.

Have you experienced it with many others though? It might be the technique does not suit you. Is he going to fast/slow firm/gentle? Are you comfortable with that level of intimacy? Are you physically comfortable during? Try popping a pillow under your bum.

Omg you are such a lucky woman that DH loves giving it! Do you just feel too vulnerable and not confident with it or do you get nothing out of it?

From watching these threads over a year or two My impression is that more (M&F) prefer to give than receive. I like it, but receiving from a woman is usually nicest.

I hate it. When you say uncomfortable do you mean physically or emotionally uncomfortable? For me it's both!

• my clit is too sensitive and it hurts to touch it, you have to go around it and not touch it at all and the tongue doesn't have great precision
• I need friction, which is gone if it's too wet
• I feel emotionally distant when he's far away like that

It just hurts and doesn't give me good feelings and I get bored.

You can't make yourself like something that you don't like. Your husband needs to get over it and accept that it's not your thing and you need to stop trying to enjoy something because he wants you to.

There are probably a thousand other things you do enjoy so why waste your time worrying about the one thing you don't? Can you think of any other situation where you would try to force yourself to like something?

Thank you for your responses and suggestions. It's quite reassuring to know that it's not just me.

To say though my husband doesn't pressurise me at all. He's lovely and attentive and just enthusiastic that I get pleasure. And yes we do do other things we both enjoy.

I was interested in the comment from@merlotmerlin that there might me more people who enjoy giving than receiving. Personally that would surprise me. Although I suppose I am someone who does. It's not just me enjoying his pleasure, there's definitely something very nice going on physically for me as well. But we're all different I guess. 🤷‍♀️

Hi @bakedpotatoforlunch , Is it possible that if we are the active one, we have control especially over the timing. We tease and the passive partner just has to lie there and take it and we not they usually decide the moment of climax.

I never post on the "Sex" board, but it's a boring bank holiday weekend and I'm scrolling.... Just wanted to say that Marion Keyes describes cunnilingus as the "watching paint dry of sex" in one of her novels, so you are clearly not alone, OP!

Many of us agree to differ!

Oh, indeed. But many more may agree.

Anyone who thinks receiving oral is like watching paint dry should sack the decorator and find someone more skilful to do the painting, focusing on the preparation, undercoating and even coverage.