First time sex with new partner didn't quite go to plan! Any tips?

[KeiraKnightley2]

We were friends before dating so known each other a while. We shagged after lunch and a couple of drinks.

He had a bit of trouble staying hard, but always got his erection back quickly. We had intercourse twice, felt really good but neither came.

Now to his credit, he fingered me and went down on me for ages, kissing me all over, complimented my body. He was trying hard. But he said 'i just want you to cum' I felt so much pressure that I couldn't!

He mentioned I 'clearly was experienced' (compared to him) based on my oral technique and mentioned he was rusty a few times.

Now I know from my past experience that if the same happens a second time it can become a self fulfilling prophecy from there on out. The relationship is great otherwise.

What can we do differently next time?

This happened with a man I was friends with for years before we got together.

It took about 5 attempts before he relaxed enough to cum through PIV. He kept saying "I'm just so nervous".

I'll be honest, I faked it several times when he went down on me, just to boost his confidence. It took him 8 weeks to make me come through oral, longer with PIV, as he wasn't lasting long at all. Lots of subtle guidance needed from me as to what he was doing that I was enjoying.

I liked him enough to persevere and it did get better over time, but I had to keep encouraging and telling him it mattered more to him than me in the early days, while inside I was screaming "just make me orgasm". When things ended a year later, our sex life was probably at 5 out of 10.

I want to insert the gif here from Friends where Rachel yells at Ross "It is a big deal!", but it's not coming up 🤣

So my advise is to persevere and not make a big deal of it. Reassure him you're enjoying what he is doing. If he talks about his erection dropping in and out, minimise the conversation and reassure some more that you like what is happening

Good luck.