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Sex, plus size unsatisfied how to spice it up

10 replies

smileygirl1995 · 14/02/2024 01:09

So as usual the title sort of says it all.
I'll start off by saying I'm 28 and only just recently slept/had sex for the first time ever, it was okay but I had a few issues...it was as awkward as i expected but with a couple curveballs, without going into details the intention for our arrangement is for me to have a baby with him, so the result needed to be him obviously cumming inside me unfortunately he didn't finish he was still hard (ish) I say ish as he had started to go down I think due to being stressed about not finishing, he tried to get excited again but I think the moment had passed by that point. I'd like to give it another go next month as I know this month won't have worked, I know Pre cum can sometimes be all it needs but the likelihood of that is slim, curve ball one was he was much smaller then I had imagined not that I was expecting huge but he's probably quite below average so with that and me being slightly bigger lady he well kept falling out, is there any positions I can try that will get him to go deeper and not fall out each time? Preferably ones that I don't need to bend like a pretzel.
Curveball two I don't want to kiss him so what other ways can I get him to be intimate without that part partly I don't want to due to my past but also he was rather sloppy so was really hard to be turned on by that!
I'm used to my vibrator or dildo to keep me happy would I be bad suggesting or just buying a vibrating cock ring? I had to fake the orgasms as he just didn't go in deep enough for long enough or fast enough sorry tmi
This week of ovulation I had a really high sex drive so was left feeling rather unsatisfied and frustrated when he left, he went down for about 1 minute, and then very ferociously rubbed/fingered but wasn't pleasant at all I don't know how to broach the subject? I mean I was the virgin but I feel like he almost was to (even though I know he wasn't)
Sorry for tmi or anything I just don't know where else to turn for advice

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Hotchox · 14/02/2024 13:59

Sounds as if he barely has any experience either. I think a long chat where each of you explains to the other what turns you on is in order before next month's effort. I doubt throwing a cock ring into the mix is a good idea at this stage.

Are you two an item in any way, or is he effectively just donating sperm to you? That might be playing on his mind and affecting his nerves a bit....

Hope this helps, or that someone with better advice is along in a bit

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Kittenkitty · 14/02/2024 19:57

Have you been clear in your communication in terms of what your expectations of each other are? Is the purpose to explore sexual experiences and/or get pregnant?

What positions did you try? Would you be willing /able to go on top? Maybe just doggy with a cushion under your stomach to support yourself a bit more.

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Cakencookieobsessed · 15/02/2024 10:39

He probably could tell you weren't into it and that's why he went soft. If it's just about getting pregnant why doesn't he finish in a cup and you inseminate yourself, if you're both not enjoying the sex? I don't see the point in making yourself have sex with someone you're obviously not into.

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acpk55 · 15/02/2024 13:01

Cakencookieobsessed · 15/02/2024 10:39

He probably could tell you weren't into it and that's why he went soft. If it's just about getting pregnant why doesn't he finish in a cup and you inseminate yourself, if you're both not enjoying the sex? I don't see the point in making yourself have sex with someone you're obviously not into.

Thus ^^ , sounds like you are using him as a donor ? Don’t bother with intercourse get him to go in a cup or something??

have you thought this through, what rights does he have as the father??

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Bearintheredhat · 15/02/2024 19:02

Honestly there is so much to unpick in the OP.

i guess the first thing to ascertain is - Do you have any diagnosis OP that we should be aware of? Autism for example?

It would help structure an answer back to you if we know where you’re at? What sort of RL support you have around you?

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Idontjetwashthefucker · 15/02/2024 22:40

Bearintheredhat · 15/02/2024 19:02

Honestly there is so much to unpick in the OP.

i guess the first thing to ascertain is - Do you have any diagnosis OP that we should be aware of? Autism for example?

It would help structure an answer back to you if we know where you’re at? What sort of RL support you have around you?

What?!

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smileygirl1995 · 16/02/2024 00:25

Hi sorry I was locked out of my account as people reported this post it seems, I sort of understand why but I've seen some similar posts if not more detailed and they haven't been banned so was rather surprised!
Just as surprised to see the comment left by the lovely @Bearintheredhat my diagnosis really!!! I am a human being that's what's wrong with me I have no other label other then that and woods appreciate if you didn't comment further.

Thank you @Hotchox I haven't spoken with him in details yet as was very nervous and just didn't quite know how to voice what I wanted to say without being embarrassed, not an item at all which in some ways makes it easier as not romantically attached to him but equally that also makes it harder for the same reason I suppose....

@Kittenkitty I

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smileygirl1995 · 16/02/2024 00:31

Sorry posted before I was ready @Kittenkitty yes both clear on what we were expecting of each other in most respects, the main purpose is for me to get pregnant but after using ai (pot method) previously I wanted to just see what it was like and curiosity got the better of me, I'm also not the sort of person who would just go out and find someone so felt well why not with this guy....

@acpk55 you don't need to worry about rights, I didn't ask advice on that, sorry if that come across harsh i know where your coming form I just get that all the time, but that's for me to worry about.

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ComtesseDeSpair · 16/02/2024 11:28

People are just trying to help based on the very limited and quite confusing information you’ve given. It’s unclear what you’re asking for advice on. You have an arrangement with this man as a sperm donor, it sounds like. You aren’t in a relationship, and it doesn’t sound as though you’re really attracted to him, nor he to you. It’s really not surprising in that context that the sex isn’t very good - it’s totally normal not to enjoy sex or find it pleasurable when you don’t have either feelings for or attraction towards each other, regardless of how curious you are about what sex might be like or how high your sex drive is. Virtually all of us need either both of those or definitely attraction to enjoy sex with a partner. I don’t think any amount of suggestions regarding different positions or cock rings is going to change that: you just aren’t into each other! And that’s fine. You can’t make each other feel that way.

If you’d like to explore sex then you don’t have to be “the sort of person who would just go out and find someone”, there are options beyond casual sex. Looking for a friend with benefits, for example, who is also not looking for a relationship (it doesn’t sound as if you are?) but is looking for more than just casual sex. Somebody with whom there is mutual anttraction and have some form of connection with.

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Bearintheredhat · 16/02/2024 11:45

Ah well, that’s the problem with posting on an open forum, you can’t control the answers you get.

I asked if you had a diagnosis because what you are trying to do is unusual and, quite frankly, stupid.

and if you had a diagnosis I would find a soft way of asking you questions that might cause you to think on what you are trying to do?

I could see easily how a person with an autism diagnosis might make the connections you have, for example. Feel lonely = make a human who has to be around me
its entirely logical,
but not fair on you or the baby.

or we could try unpicking the fact you are ‘slightly bigger’ - are you well?, in the right shape to be carrying a baby?
What does ‘slightly bigger’ mean?

or we could go down the line of why you feel you can have sex with someone but can’t discuss it with them?

so I wondered if you had some support in RL, cause, as I’ve said, I can’t believe people would support such an endeavour?

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