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Sex

I don't get pleasure from penetration

13 replies

serhappy · 12/02/2024 21:45

It's something I've never really thought about but it's just popped into my head and I'm thinking deeply about it. I've been with my partner 4 years and we have a great sex life well so i always thought?

I don't feel pleasure from penetration and I've never came from penetration which I heard it's common to not finish through penetration alone. But is it common to not feel pleasure from penetration? I always finish during sex but it's down to me touching my cl*t whilst fucking......

But thinking about it why do I moan so loud when it's clearly not real moans. How I'm only thinking about this now I don't know. I'm only now really realising that I fake moan. I only really 'real moan" when I'm finishing whilst playing with myself and being penetrated. I feel like it just comes natural to moan when he puts it in??? But it's not real???? In my head yes it's horny but doesn't physically feel good if that makes any sense???

Does anyone else not feel it? I definitely feel he's there but the pleasure isn't there. I would love to feel the pleasure side of things. I've never thought about this before and suddenly just realising a lot! I'm a bit embarrassed ahh

OP posts:
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BIWI · 12/02/2024 23:54

You're posting on the sex topic, giving a lot of detail, yet you can't post 'clit' without having to use an asterisk?!

Stop faking it. It's unfair to your partner.

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Thestruggleisreal21 · 13/02/2024 08:51

I think that's normal for a lot of women after having kids. Something to do with scar tissue, there's less feelings or something from giving birth.
Have you looked into the o-shot or vaginal reguvination - both are supposed to give more pleasure from penetration 🤷🏼‍♀️

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GigiAnnna · 13/02/2024 09:34

I never used to orgasm a whole lot during penetration with past partners but I do more or less every time with my husband. Does he put effort into foreplay? Making sure you are aroused mentally as well as physically so that your whole body becomes sensitive to touch. If I orgasm a few times before sex then I usually have no problem orgasming quickly from G spot pressure without the need for me to touch my clit.

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terfinthewild · 24/02/2024 00:46

Same here. I believe it's trauma related in my case. I know my g spot is alive because if I orgasm or have lots of foreplay I can feel it throbbing but it is not sensitive to the touch to the point of being numb like there's no feeling there. It's something me and my hubby are working on but instinctively I know there's not much he can do, I'm going to need to make peace with myself and my past and hopefully when that is done things will change. Good luck!

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muddydogpaws · 24/02/2024 18:00

OP- I think what you're describing is normal for most women. The vagina actually has relatively few nerve endings because can you imagine how painful childbirth would be if it was as sensitive as the clitoris? It's nothing to do with scar tissue or your psychological makeup (although these might make it more uncomfortable).

Some women orgasm more easily during PIV but it is all down to indirect stimulation of the clitoris. So how aroused you are, positions and additional direct or indirect clitoral stimulation make the difference although some women are just by virtue of their anatomy (eg their clitoris is closer to their vagina so PIV stimulates it more).

The whole "why can't I orgasm from just PIV" thing ignores these basic facts. Some men like having their balls fondled but no one would expect them to orgasm from that alone, without any penile stimulation. The focus placed on PIV is because men orgasm that way and that's how babies are made.

That said PIV should be enjoyable because of the intimacy and indirect stimulation. You're not faking it by moaning or expressing your enjoyment of the sensation.

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Babla · 25/02/2024 01:11

OP why not get your partner to help you finish rather then doing it yourself

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Sensate · 26/02/2024 07:24

It’s a rare thing for a woman to cum from penetration alone.

My own partner enjoys penetration, but only comes from clit stimulation. Nothing wrong with that. Just use fingers or a buzzy sex toy during sex, sorted.

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GigiAnnna · 26/02/2024 07:55

Sensate · 26/02/2024 07:24

It’s a rare thing for a woman to cum from penetration alone.

My own partner enjoys penetration, but only comes from clit stimulation. Nothing wrong with that. Just use fingers or a buzzy sex toy during sex, sorted.

I wouldn't say it's all that rare. Clitoral orgasm is easier, but lots of women do have internal orgasms too. I think the more you have those type of orgasms, the easier they come. Don't just assume you can't if you haven't yet kind of thing. A lot also depends on the man's skill and dare I say it, penis size.

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Sensate · 26/02/2024 12:47

GigiAnnna · 26/02/2024 07:55

I wouldn't say it's all that rare. Clitoral orgasm is easier, but lots of women do have internal orgasms too. I think the more you have those type of orgasms, the easier they come. Don't just assume you can't if you haven't yet kind of thing. A lot also depends on the man's skill and dare I say it, penis size.

If I’m honest, I am no more than average in size.

Perhaps I’m doing something wrong? Or if not wrong, just not right?

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SaraS12 · 11/03/2024 17:20

I think it’s pretty normal not to orgasm just from penetration, I don’t think I ever have. I would say that pleasure from penetration is more in my head, by which I mean that feeling of connection that it brings and the erotic thoughts that go with it?

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MyAmygdala · 11/03/2024 22:46

You might as well be sticking a finger in my bellybutton, the amount of physical pleasure penetration brings me (both before and after kids) and yet I'm not averse to it - I guess nature has hardwired me into wanting it/the connection.

Anatomically, my clit is too far away from my vagina to be stimulated by PIV.
It only occurred to me recently that the shaft and the ears of the rampant rabbit are meant to stimulate you simultaneously - if I insert the shaft, the ears are in completely the wrong place!

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Runningoutofusernamestochange · 12/03/2024 19:16

I would use the analogy that vaginal penetration is comforting, like treacle tart and custard; but clitoral stimulation is more champagne bubbles or popping candy! They are both jolly nice in their own way, but one sends you to sleep and the other is about being ready to party.

I’m sure someone with musical expertise could come up with a much better metaphor about left and right handed parts on a piano, but a masterpiece takes both, together with a pianist who is willing to put the time in practicing.
Your partner should not be leaving you to finish proceedings as a solo performance.

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StarlightLady · 13/03/2024 05:15

OP, I’ve been watching this one with interest. No, you shouldn’t be faking it, nor is there any need to resemble porn style moans. And in addition you should be aware that the clitoris is the main female sex organ! Small is beautiful. Penetration in itself is not sex, penetration is part of sex. And there is nothing wrong with you simultaneously touching yourself.

So, some questions.

  1. Do you climax from oral?
  2. How has sex been with previous partners?
  3. How long are you both spending on foreplay?
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