Cuckolding for newbies

[Thorninhisside]

While having sex the other morning my wife brought up the concept of her having sex with other men.
I have to say that it's been a long term fantasy of mine and I was a little surprised she spoke so candidly about it, as I never thought it would be her thing.
I'm wondering , for those couples who have gone down this route, how you introduced the idea and how you made it work.
I've often read on here suggestions of using fabswingers as a way of meeting people with particular kinks. But I think that website might be a bit full on for us as newbies.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have done this in the past, not so much cuckold but more stag/vixen or hotwifing.

We were on Fab and met some good people on there, and we also went to clubs and met some people there.

If you were to go down the Fab route, you can set your preferences for example single men cant contact you, but you can make first contact with them and they can then message you. That would help sort out the hundreds of messages you would no doubt get.

Or head to a club, Fab has a club review section so you can see where is near you, and most of those have private rooms should you not want to do anything publicly, get chatting to some people and see where it leads you.

Feel free to ask any other questions

I'm not sure a club would be our thing. I was thinking along the lines of dating apps but they are a bit too public.
We'd want to be discreet if we did indulge.

Recipe for disaster if you ask me. How are you going to feel if his dick is bigger than yours? Or he makes her orgasm more/faster than you do? What if she wants to keep seeing the same guy? What is she gets feelings? It might sound exciting, but I think it would be a head fuck in the end. Mind you, I think it's really weird that you want some strange bloke to have sex with your wife!

I don’t get the cuckolding thing, I have enough trouble, and yes it’s my problem not hers, thinking about her having sex with other men before she met me, let alone watching her do it. If she ever suggested it I’m not sure what I’d say

My first thought was if she knows its a long term fantasy and you’ve discussed it lots before or if its come out of the blue.

if its the latter then i would be extremely wary of her intentions.

other than that i cant help as cuckolding or similar has less than zero interest for me.

@Wittyusername2000

I'm new to all this. What is stag/vixen/hotwifing?

Also, being in quite a newish relationship does it help being in a long term or newer?

My partner and I have discussed this in passing so I'm not sure yet if it's the right avenue for us. How will we know?

Wife & I have discussed this during sex for years. It definitely makes us both horny in bed.
I'd love her to give it a try, would be a massive turn-on i believe for us both....but as of right now she hasn't gone for it, but still talks dirty about it in bed.
I think if we found the right guy, she'd have an amazing time & would add a new dimension to our sex life.
To those that can't understand why anyone would want to do this.... I can't answer that.
Years ago I'd have wanted to chin anyone who flirted with my Wife....but years later the thought of seeing her have amazing sex is just the biggest turn-on.
To the OP, if your Wife wants to try it & you're certain, set boundaries and go have some fun. You only live once!

Stag/vixen is similar to cuckolding but there is no element of humiliation. A PP up there said about what if he makes her cum quicker, or his dick is bigger etc, but that is what the cuckold wants, they want to be humiliated and made to feel as though they are not good enough. Stag/Vixen is where another guy comes in but there is none of that putdowns. The other guy is there purely to pleasure the vixen and so is the stag, the stage enjoys seeing his vixen get pleasured and spoiled.

Hotwifing is the same, but in this the hotwife is allowed to pursue adventures outside without the partner being there, with the partner being aroused by hearing about what she has been up to, possibly it being filmed and/or pics being taken .

So for me, it was more stag/vixen. I loved seeing my partner with someone else and then i would join in. I would have hated the hotwife scenario and nothing happened without me being there.

There are apps for this, Feeld is a good one. You only share what you want on there so dont put face pics on etc. You could also have a weekend away and search for someone while away so they would have no idea where you are from etc.

@Wittyusername2000

TY for that explanation. I really admire couples that have that level of trust to see their male/female partner with another person. That is the only drawback which admittedly it is a big one that I am not sure I want to see my DP with another female. He is obviously very into it, but I'm not 100%. I am worried that if I don't eventually come round to the idea he may not continue on with our relationship. I will have to look into it more. Thank you once again.

No problem, I will admit when I did it, we only had MFM. My partner did not want to see me with another woman, and honestly that wasnt what i was into either. So we werent a full swap couple at all.

A lot of the couples we spoke to all said it made them closer, as the "reclaim" sex after was amazing and thats what worked for them.

But obviously you should only do what you are comfortable with, Im a big advocate of no one doing anything they have any doubts over. Dont let him pursuade you or you think the relationship will be over if you dont, you should only be doing things you enthusiastically consent to.

@Wittyusername2000

This may be too personal, but are you in a long term relationship and was this something you decided together early on or latterly? As I'm in a newish relationship I feel under a year is too soon to be sharing, does that make sense?

It's not something we had discussed before.
In the heat of the moment she just started talking about making me watch her with other men and how turned on I'd get. It was extremely hot, in that moment, to listen to her saying things the way she said them.
Maybe she's picked up on little comments I've made in the past but I don't think so. To me, it felt out of the blue.
She is always quite vocal during sex, which I like, but hasn't said anything about fucking other men before.

@Thorninhisside

This is a conversation you need to be having with your partner. You won't know anything unless you talk about it.

Yes, I absolutely understand that and it'll be something that I'll talk to her about when the time is right. Work is a bit full on for her at the moment so it might be a few days before she's in the right mood for that sort of conversation.

It's good to hear from other people though, about their experience.

In your case, has the conversation been totally driven by your partner?

Sorry, sounds like she’s selling you a line to see if it piques your interest when really she wants this for herself.

@Thorninhisside

Yes. All him. I am not usually one to share my partner with others, it's something that I need to think about for a moment. It's all a surprise to me and I'm not keen on surprises.

I just couldn’t take another woman having sex with my DP, I just want him all to myself!

Very very unusual in my opinion for the lady to initiate this.

we have done it. And close friend does it.

you need to be rock solid for this…

Please remember that cuckolding involves her humiliating you.

Hotwife and Stag/Vixen dynamic doesn't.

dont do it

Thank you all for your replies.

Having read previous posts and now listened to some podcasts on the subject, I can say that I was using the wrong definition in the original post. I couldn't do humiliation so it's definitely not a cuckolding scenario I'd look at. More the hotwife/stag, vixen thing.

Anyway, we haven't had the conversation. I'll see what happens in the next few weeks and whether she mentions it again in the heat of the moment.
Maybe for her it was just a bit of dirty talk that she blurted out and meant nothing more.

There's definitely a lot to think about and to take in, so I'm happy to leave it as just a fantasy for the moment.

Thanks all, and have a good weekend.