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Original poster

Fwb

11 replies

hollowmoonstar · 06/02/2024 09:22

Fwb with my manager both single both happy with fwb situation. At work we keep it professional and no body is aware as no one business. These ppl are work colleagues not friends.

My point is manager does not give me any special treatment regarding any situations at work etc, an example is once I had to leave 45 mins early one day due to child being unwell, instead of letting me off considering we’re fwb, he said as company policy I need to make the time up when I can, or put it as unpaid.

There other things where I think he should let me off but I get treated like everyone else even tho we’re fwb.

I told my friend about this as she was in similar situation at work before with a colleague before he left, and he would turn a blind eye to minor things like lateness, days off etc as they were sleeping together, so she got special treatment. He would only ignore minor things not major things tho.

Her colleagues even noticed and made comments as “she must be sucking
Him off as she can do what she wants” so it is a thing that they get special treatment.

My point is I’m thinking to end this fwb now as it just seems that other than sex he really doesn’t care about me and sees me as just a colleague because if he saw me as a bit more than a colleague due to the sex, he would allow me a bit of leeway, or should the manager treat me the same despite the sex thing ? Should he bit more kinder and allow certain things to pass as we’re sleeping together? Is that how it’s meant to work ?
I'm not asking for pay rises, ignoring lateness etc but a bit of leeway as my mate had that and is that the norm, am I missing something ?

OP posts:
nameForThis99 · 06/02/2024 09:26

Fwb with my manager both single both happy with fwb situation. At work we keep it professional and no body is aware as no one business. These ppl are work colleagues not friends.

you have answered your own question, keep it professional at work

MySXforumnn · 06/02/2024 10:47

I agree with the first reply. He is your manager and he is being a decent one for not allowing the fact that you are his FWB affect his work and management of you.

Would you like all the little favours to be noticed by your colleagues and having them saying things about you?

To be perfectly honest, spouses shouldn't even get special treatment in the "normal" workplace, some places won't even allow people in a relationship to work together.

I think you have misunderstood the concept of FWB and taken the benefits element to the extreme.

CuriousD · 06/02/2024 12:20

"Don't where you eat" as the saying goes. FWB with your manager is only going to end badly.

HikingInHeaven · 06/02/2024 13:31

You want favours at work because you’re shagging your manager? That’s fucked up. Grow up and think of your career.

TomorrowNeverKnows · 07/02/2024 11:15

You should check your companies code of conduct. They often prevent relationships where one is a manager, supervisor or could advertently show any form of benefit to the other. Some will have this as a dismissable offence, most often if declared companies will put the necessary checks in place.

harerunner · 08/02/2024 05:37

My point is I’m thinking to end this fwb now as it just seems that other than sex he really doesn’t care about me

He's your FWB, not your boyfriend ffs. If you want someone who cares for you, get a boyfriend not a fuck-buddy! I'd have thought that was obvious!

To use an analogy, it's like eating an apple, but are disappointed it doesn't taste like an orange! If you want the taste of an orange, you have to eat an orange!

harerunner · 08/02/2024 05:44

It seems you want a BWB situation.... He gives you the benefit of being able to shirk your work responsibilities, and you give him the benefit of sex with you in return.

It's skanky and messed up, and indicates you have a stunted maturity - it's the mentality of a 14 year old.

Your friend who is doing this will be despised by her colleagues. Shagging the boss for benefits at work is one sure way to make yourself into a pariah.

Doglover19 · 11/02/2024 18:00

Maybe he doesn't want the comments "maybe she's sucking him off" going around the workplace . He wants to keep things separate and not let one affect the other.
Which is sensible otherwise it could get messy and one of you might have to leave.
Decide whether you want more from this ...

Shiningout · 12/02/2024 07:25

You can't claim to be professional at work if you want special treatment 🤷

healthywino · 12/02/2024 14:41

FWB (in my opinion) really only ever benefits the man. He gets sex on tap, without ever having to take you on a date. And you'll be dropped like a stone, when someone else comes along that he actually wants to date, wine and dine, and make his girlfriend. You are worth more than being this guys "filler". And I bet you're not looking for a proper partner whilst you're messing with him. It's a waste of time.

Original poster
hollowmoonstar · 15/02/2024 11:33

He tried it on the other day but I moved away from him n left the room since then he hasn't tried anything else, I'm in 2 minds, when we're not meeting up he's cold and distant but then he will try it on randomly to which I'm shocked n get tense n rebuke him even tho I do fancy him! It's a odd situation and feeling

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