Asking partner to be more dominant

[SexForumNameTag]

In my past relationships, I liked to be submissive and loved being dominated. I would like my partner to be more dominant but in the way I mean, slapping, light hair-pulling, rougher sex, calling me a slut, tying up etc but I’m not sure how he would react, he doesn’t know many details about my past sexual relationships. Is it possible he would think differently of me? I’m torn between keeping things as they are but wanting to explore that different part of me.

Men generally don’t want to know about your past.

I’d recommend asking him if there’s anything he’d like to try and if he asks you, tell him one or two things….start off with the lighter ideas.

In the moment you could also say things to him - tell him what he’s doing is great that always goes down well, ask him to slap your @£s etc… start off light and get as detailed as you want over the weeks/months to come ….same with what you say, start off light and get more detailed and over the weeks and months… maybe say I love being your little xxx etc… over time. I think if you’re also a lady outside the bedroom he’ll start to love it!

"Think differently of me"
-- it's often said that we're are multifaceted, so your man hopefully can understand that you have another side, while still remembering what he likes about you so far hopefully.
I read good words for mojo upgrade (Google it) where you can each answer questions about what you like to show each other. It might help you two talk?

I’m in the same boat, ( but the other end ? ) my female partner wants me to be more dominant , I don’t feel differently about her at all ,but I am slightly hesitant/ unsure of what she actually wants/ would like from me

There is nothing wrong at all wanting to explore it and I understand your apprehension. I am fairly a fairly senior leader at work and prob seen as "posh" but also found when in bed being dominated a bit, virtually as you describe you liked, made sex amazing for me. I must admit we haven't ever had a full blown frank conversation of what I like but gradually he has taken the gentle cue I have given and when he has tried he has seen my enthusiastic response which seems to have worked for me and over time he has grown in confidence and does more adventurous stuff. Won't describe mine is full detail but ok if you wanted to pm me.

I would be careful about how you approach it with him. Start very slowly, subtle. Not everyone has it in them to be dominant. If you say that's what you'd like but he can't be that way, would he feel inadequate and concerned he couldn't give you what you really wanted? And would you be happy to continue the relationship that doesn't fulfill you sexually in that way?

well ask her. what's keeping you?

Well OP I would talk to him about it - good communication vital for good sex/relationships. Would he think differently of you? Don't know/don't know him, but if he did I don't think it would reflect too well on him whether he wanted to indulge in these games or not. And, assuming you are of a certain age, he can hardly be surprised that you have had other experiences. If he has issues with that, well ....
SOME men may of course have issues "obliging" - I had a FWB once who was particularly into these games - she had another thing going with another guy and lamented that he couldn't do the things "to" her she wanted. He couldn't bring himself to.
If he says no, then decision time I guess.
Good luck. Interested of course in how pans out but up to you if you reply.

I found it lovely him being loving, complimentary and all cuddling but occasionally just wanted him to talk dirty to me, smack my bottom a bit and use words that he wouldn’t normally to me given that he sees me as a “nice girl”. Can be embarrassing to admit that him telling me I’m a “slut” was a real turn on when said at the right moment, but me responding ALLWAYS works well for him. Nothing wrong as long as you both enjoy each other

Sorry for the delay in responding.
I haven’t mentioned anything for now, I have this fear he will see me in a different light and it may ruin things. He’s quite timid in personality, so playing the role of a dominant partner is something he may find tricky if it doesn’t come natural. If he’s not responsive to me saying these things, he could feel inadequate and that he’s not enough in terms of meeting my sexual needs. I will ponder over this a bit more.
@Manvice I think those are good ideas, start subtle and maybe get an idea of how he reacts to the things I suggest.
@Namechangednorth That’s exactly it, we can have loving sex but also more wilder sex too. The difference between them both, I find a real turn on.

Hi

as always great communication is key. If you can talk it through do so. If not why don’t you reading some erotic fiction together.

id suggest picking some good well written fiction with a male dominant. Let him read it and tell him it really does it for you.

id explain that it turns you on and ask him what he thinks

Good luck

Sorry maybe obvious but should have added. Make sure you agree boundaries. Safe words and limits. You can always go further next time but you can’t undo what you do. Good luck!

We're all different, so you'll have to gently work out what works for you and him.

For me, I would never slap or hit a woman - it's a firm no from me. But dirty talk at the right moment works for us. But that's me (us).

You do you.