Husband says he wants to end it yet wants sex

[MrsG2017]

Hubby and I are in a huge rocky patch (understatement) almost daily if things get stressful my husband will constantly talk about leaving, about movies my back over seas (we are expats) about how he doesn’t want to be a dad anymore he’s bored in our relationship etc etc

Anything stressful tips him over the edge and my phone is full of messages saying he wants to leave

yet….. as soon as our son goes to bed tonight he wants sex and is now in a massive hump (saying we should divorce of course) because I said no.

I am so confused - am I in the wrong?

No you’re not in the wrong. It’s ridiculous to expect you to be all lovey dopey when he wants sex despite all the other issues going on.

I would recommend couples therapy to help you both discuss and address the underlying issues and come up with a way to deal with conflict and disagreements in a way that doesn’t result in resentment and constant petty fighting.

And if he doesn’t want to go, I would still recommend that you still go see a therapist or counselor on your own to help sort through all the emotions and the situation in your head which will help you stand up to him and make the right choice rather than just give in to him.

In summary no you are not unreasonable to say no to sex when you’re not emotionally connected and in the right place as a couple.

Hopefully he is willing to try counseling failing which I would start planning my exit if there are no changes.

He is acting like a man child, and that is very unattractive and ridiculous. He doesn’t care about how you feel as long as he gets his fix, that’s not how you treat your partner.

And frankly he always threatening to leave is childish and I would make sure this is addressed as part of any path forward. Having a way to deal with conflict and arguments without hurtful statements is paramount.

You are not in the wrong.

Men are better, or is that worse, at separating sex from emotion. It means that men can want and enjoy sex when a relationship is iffy or after a big fight (not necessarily make-up sex) or with some they have little or no emotional attachment with.

I am not saying women can't do any of this just that men, on the whole, can.

Eurgh, this is so unattractive. Is he a teenager? What a childish man.