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Hook ups through OLD - tips please

7 replies

PositionNow · 04/01/2024 18:27

Looking at hook ups, those stated 'short term but long term ok' on OLD.
Any safety and other practical tips? Can't come back to mine, so what's the best alternative?
Please, no judgement, I am lonely and crave sex and intimacy. Thanks!

OP posts:
Yorkieboy · 04/01/2024 18:42

Hotel, don't go back to their house.

Tell a friend where you are meeting the person and where you are staying. Could also agree to regular check ins by text. Location mapping could also work. Share your WhatsApp live location with a trusted friend or snapchat maps?

Fiery30 · 05/01/2024 05:34

Even in short term stuff, I prefer not to sleep together on the first date, more so for comfort reasons. I have been on coffee dates to gauge the vibes and chemistry. It makes me feel confident if I want to have sex with person or not. I also introduce some general sex chat, such as what kinds of things do you like and what are your turn ons. I find an honest discussion about preferences and boundaries helps me be in control.

IalsoWantToHaveSex · 05/01/2024 07:58

PositionNow · 04/01/2024 18:27

Looking at hook ups, those stated 'short term but long term ok' on OLD.
Any safety and other practical tips? Can't come back to mine, so what's the best alternative?
Please, no judgement, I am lonely and crave sex and intimacy. Thanks!

I am guessing that you are a woman and hence probably were flooded with "offers".

I am a man and I have tried AM, Bumble & IE and what a waste of time and money.. Only one message and the lady stopped responding after a few texts.

What a waste of time and money.

B1rd · 06/01/2024 14:14

Maybe try Feeld rather than fabswingers. Although fab profiles have verifications from others who have already met that person.

Always have a social meet first over coffee as you would a date.

PermanentTemporary · 09/01/2024 22:12

I took an enormous number of risks... and nothing bad happened. I had an incredible run of good times and a few dull or awkward ones.

I went to hotels booked via dayuse. I wonder if anyone uses that site except for hookups.

Develop a very sensitive radar for anything you don't like, and stop chatting immediately if there's something however small that raises a warning sign. Things like anger... any of it. Lots of men are very grumpy on those sites as their chances are small and they're very focused on having to pay (see above). I just don't bother with that - it's supposed to be fun, not placating grumps. Anything that is trying to pressure or manipulate you. You will find that there are men who get possessive, idiots who 'neg' and men who judge you even on hook up sites. But there are plenty who don't.

Decide on your boundaries and stick to them. They will all try to push your boundaries. I didn't drop people who asked once, but I did for asking twice for the same thing once I'd said no.

I never blocked anyone for dick pics. I did feel on a hook up site I was ok with it - different on a normal dating site.

I went for brutal honesty in my profile - I said that I was overweight, over 50, very picky, wouldn't respond to most approaches (there were hundreds so it's impossible to do so) and that I didn't do exclusives. But also sweetened it with a couple of welcoming sentences.

Honestly, I met some really great and very interesting men. Some great book, music and film recs too.

Floating83 · 13/01/2024 19:02

Make sure you tell people where you are, air bnbs or hotels, meet for a drink somewhere safe first, have clear boundaries and make it clear to the other person that you are looking for a hook up.

Ill be honest, I wouldn't see "short term but long term ok" as hook up. Short term fun is hook up, I'd say that one is more dates, getting to know someone but not intentionally looking for it to be a serious relationship.

lilkitten · 23/01/2024 20:48

Feeld and Fab Swingers are your best options, I prefer Feeld. A coffee meet beforehand is a good way to get to know them.

@PermanentTemporary I've been interested in Dayuse, it sounds like a great idea, have you found it to work out well?

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