Sex and experimentation

[Manvice]

Having read a number of threads on here I’ve notice a common theme of:

1. lingerie being seen as demeaning
2. sex requests from DH being rejected
3. overall resentment towards a DH who wants sex

I’ve experimented with my wife with anal (at her request) and numerous other activities, and I try to ensure she’s having as much fun as me. I want to ask her for more anal and to wear lingerie but want to ensure this request comes across positively, for her as well as me.

So my overall question is, why is there so much negativity towards a DH asking for this type of stuff and what should I consider?

I don’t understand why so many people seem to consider sex requests negative in a marriage. Unless their other half isn’t pulling their weight in other areas, I can’t understand why a loving husbands requests would be considered a negative thing. (I do housework, main bread winner etc…).

Ok!

Gosh you’re the main breadwinner AND you do housework! Wow how could she resist

When you're happy and willing to have a large dildo painfully stretching your asshole then maybe you could revisit the request.

Just ask.

Tell your DW what you like and things you've done in the past you'd like to do again.

She might be grateful that she has some guidance

You pull your weight!? Yay. Well done.

I mention only because that appears to be one of the regular reasons for wives to resent their DH in prior posts I’ve read.

I think the op only mentioned about pulling his weight etc to show he wasn't like alot of selfish husbands that get mentioned who do bugger all and then make demands in the bedroom, in fact given the negativity that often goes with these type of requests he was asking for advice on how best to do it so that it doesn't come across that way!

Op, theres no harm in asking as long as its politely and not in a demanding way, something along the lines of " dw, i was wondering if we could try this (insert activity here) ? What do you think?" If she says she will think about it, leave her to think about it and dont push the matter, if she says no then respect that, if she says yes then enjoy!

Exactly that. Thanks for the advice- noted!

Suggest talking to her but sometimes it works better if you are in bed or both in the mood. Maybe first time, suggest you would occasionally like to buy some lingerie.

Realistically we do as women like well made and designed lingerie, both practical and more "sexy" for a night out maybe that makes us feel good.

I think you are more talking about what works in the bedroom, so maybe something she could wear when going out and good to have in later, or, as I think you may be thinking..strictly bedroom wearing stuff. My other half did once progress the conversation when we were in bed and he suggested looking. Did the whole spectrum and then suggested looking at "bedroom stuff". I suppose was nice me knowing what he would like me to wear for him and what would excite him and he has bought some for me which I wear at times if we have a night in, kids away and more often he has cooked and me had a bath so really relaxed.

I know if I wear the bedroom lingerie he will be excited at the thought and in the bedroom. Adds a bit of sexual tension during the evening

Thanks for that. Good advice.

What is wrong with saying - wife, would you like more anal? And listening to the answer.

I don't think many women on here would be resentful or negative of an exchange like that.

Personally, nothing would turn me on more than being given a sexy piece of lingerie by dh, I think I can only remember one thread where the woman hated it because her dh threw a nightie at her mid shag.

Threw a nightie mid shag! Ok, thank you.

. Makes sense and seems fair. thanks

Do not buy lingere without know her taste best way around this is

1. Ask her if she would like some nice lingere. Ask from where. Buy gift voucher. Await results.

Anal I would actually be turned off by having a pre discussion as i pretty much would any formal discussion. It's happened many times before so I prefer a slightly more physical spontaneous 'invitation' during the act

Sex requests aren’t negative in a stable relationship.

Yes I find pre discussions a bit weird, albeit some say a stable relationship should involve them, I prefer an ask in the session and a quick yes or no.

sorry- what has happened many times before?

How can she prep and be safe for anal if you're wanting to have ask mid session?

If it's something you want to explore more you need to speak beforehand really, so that if it's something she doesn't want to repeat your expectations if frequency

Is it always a formal discussion to ask the question without a hard on? Lol

Couldn't disagree more on the lingerie, the idea if a gift voucher is not exactly sexy!

What has happened when you have asked?

@NotInTheMoodForIt exactly right for that, to be fair I know he likes it so nearly always asks so at one point I told him if he knew when I was 'ready' for it he didn't have to ask - but thats what happens when you can talk about it first!!!