Oral sex hesitancy

[bumblehat]

So, DH loves giving oral sex, and I love receiving it. The thing is though, I don’t like giving it and I don’t know how to overcome that. He does ask me from time to time but never pushes it, although I can tell he’s disappointed. I used to do it at times in the past (probably the dim and distant past!). I’m starting to feel guilty about it as it seems really unfair for this to be such a one way thing. I don’t know what to do… any advice!

Sex isn’t - or shouldn’t be - quid pro quo. If he genuinely enjoys giving oral sex then there’s no imbalance there; or not one which should be solved by doing something you don’t like doing.

If it’s something you’d like to start doing because you’d get some enjoyment from something which gives him pleasure, then work out what it is exactly you don’t like about giving it. A lot of the things many women say they dislike about blowjobs (sore jaw, gagging) are about lack of technique and can be avoided if you learn how.

@bumblehat Whilst my DW is not a fan of bodily fluids of any description and tbh I had never understood why Blowjobs are even bothered with...after a bit of experimentation and trial and error I'm now a huge convert and my DW too she seems to focus more on the effect it has on me which has really helped her with the fluidy bit...hope this helps!

Good luck and report back!!

Why dont you like giving it ?
Something in the past?
What's in your head when you think about it?

@ComtesseDeSpair absolutely agree about the quid pro quo thing but I just feel like he’s missing out and it’s a little unfair. He’s never pressured me
@Rieslinger thanks, I’m not a fan of the fluids bit but then he doesn’t have to cum in my mouth I guess! He quite likes cumming over me so that’s an option…!
@ruffler45 honestly, it’s just…I don’t really know. Just that I don’t want a penis in my mouth, which isn’t a helpful response!

We both love oral both giving and receiving
I love giving her oral and watching her pleasure so for me I would be happy doing this without reciprocation (though it is a bonus)
I have had a partner in the past who was not keen on giving oral this did not put me off or leave me feeling neglected
of you are not keen on a penis in your mouth how about using your hands with lube and take your time you can drive him crazy (and no sore jaw) my DW loves to do this and can be amazing and easily on par with a great BJ
enjoy

@ruffler45 honestly, it’s just…I don’t really know. Just that I don’t want a penis in my mouth, which isn’t a helpful response!

Sounds like something from your past or maybe just one of those things.

No problems "handling it" ?

How close do you get to it?

Surely nothing wrong with not wanting to do it, it’s not mandatory to enjoy every aspect of sex just because your partner does

I'm also curious to know how you close you generally get to it. Do you like kissing and licking his body at all, but just stop at the crotch?
Do you find something particularly off putting about his penis? Could you start by maybe giving him kisses on it in the shower or bath if you feel like that is less gross? And then if that feels OK you could see how you feel about gently licking it and taking the tip in etc. You could always stop at any time if you don't like it.

Of course if you're both happy with the status quo, no pressure to do it at all, but it is possible to get a lot of pleasure out of giving your loved one pleasure like this if you are serious about wanting to try it?

If you don’t want to do something do something else, you shouldn’t feel like you have to do this if it’s not your thing, sex is supposed to be fun.

Without going into detail, there are ways you can mimic a BJ with your hands, lube and your face close to his penis.

I have been watching this one with interest. For starters, no woman should ever do what she does nor want to do. So the first thing you need to decide OP is whether this is really something you wish to overcome or whether you would prefer to leave things as they are.

l would also suggest you consider if the hesitancy has been caused by bad previous experience. It is not about a man seeing how much he can ram down your throat or speedy thrusting.

If you do decide to go ahead, l would suggest during foreplay, think ice lolly, and treat it in the same way. And needless to say, make sure he is clean and fresh.

Personally, l find it comforting, (maybe l was deprived of a dummy as a kid) but never do anything you do not want to do.

In my early days, it wasn't for me naturally either. However, being lucky, my first and then early experiences were with wonderfully experienced partners who sent me into delirium with oral sex. I just wanted to try and return the feeling and seeing their face and eyes as I was doing it was enough.

And no man should ever do something he doesn’t want to, in this situation I think it would perfectly fine for him to stop performing oral sex, and not worry about it

@myNewName21 I have read through the OP’s posts again, because l thought l must have missed something. She does not say anywhere that her partner doesn’t want to participate.