Am I bad in bed?

[swuahies]

How do you know???!

I wouldn't say I'm inexperienced, but not had 100s of partners either. Was previously married for 11 years, healthy sex life throughout and he always said it was great, seemed to enjoy it but he ended up having an affair and we split.

Dated a bit in between and now with current DP of 2.5 years. I'd say he has quite a low sex drive but I also wonder if it's just me?!

I've assumed until now he's just got a lower sex drive in general and otherwise the relationship is amazing.

However, the reason I'm now doubting myself is for to a post I read on here last week. It was by someone talking about how long it takes their partner to be ready for round 2, and how they can last longer if they've just cum.

It got me thinking, in all my relationships and sexual partners, I've never once had a 'round 2' - anyone I've been with has seemed to enjoy the sex but after they've cum, that's it. There's no interest in doing anything further or trying again.

Is it cos the sex isn't exciting? Because they don't have that drive towards me? No passion?

I don't know cos although my current DP had a lower sex drive, why would it never have happened on previous relationships (at least once) of it's not personal?

Or is it actually not that common after all?

Its unusual especially with men under 40. We can’t tell you why, you’d need to have asked them.

Unusual not to be able or not to want have sex more than once I mean.

Maybe it was good enough the first time they didn’t need to go again!

We are early 40s now but beyond the very early days, a second round is a rare occurrence. My DH does have a lower sex drive than me though, although once is usually enough for me.

We are early 50s and very rarely have a round two nowadays. It was very common in the early stages of our relationship. (Even a round three or four after a suitable break.)
However, my partner has a stressful job and we have a daughter in the next room so sex is intermittent now. Which is a polite way of saying rare.
When it does occur it's usually in the morning as we're both too tired at night, and we have to be up for work so a second helping is unfeasible.

Having another round wouldn't necessarily make the sex any better so I wouldn't stress it, if I were you. If your ex said the sex was great then I'd trust him. Don't judge your own sex life by comparing it to others on here. Comparison is the thief of joy. More doesn't have to mean better.

My husband has a very high sex drive, we have been together since he was 26 and we have almost never had a round 2. He can get hard again with a bit of rest, but round 2 never really seems to be that good. Both of us are suitably satisfied after sex so don’t desire a round 2. I really wouldn’t read too much into it OP.

Having multiple rounds is definitely more common in the initial stages of a relationship, that being said, if you both can, round 2/3/4 can be marvelous. It's really all down to personal circumstances, if there's been a period of no sex, makes round 2/3 more attractive, but I'd certainly not take It personally. Age is a huge factor as well.

Perhaps it was boring and predictable? Perhaps they weren’t very fit? I’d find it weird for men in their twenties and thirties, you should have asked.

Ignore the people saying it’s strange not to go to round 2. It’s perfectly normal not to.

I managed to get to the age of 46 before discovering that round 2 was even a thing.

Also remember that the sex board is not representative of the whole population.

The more important question is whether you are happy with your sex life?

Agree with this, mostly in early stages, kids , work, life soon put paid to round 2

I think your experience is unusual to have never had any man be interested in more after having sex only once. Before children, with lots of time it was common in my experience. Friends say so too. Weekends spent in bed. After kids as well on nights always etc.

I have a fairly high sex drive (male) and I have never desired or considered going in for round 2, at any age. I’ve also never had a weekend just lying in bed having lots of sex. I like sex but I personally like doing other things in life too…

After 'round 1' I want a nice cup of tea and to do other things! There's the ability to go again and then there's the desire to do so. We have a great time in bed and then a great time out of it doing other stuff. I don't think the number of times in a session is any reflection on sexual prowess, just how you want to spend your time.

Ignore the people saying it’s strange not to go to round 2. It’s perfectly normal not to.

OP is asking for opinions based on other people’s experiences. It’s ridiculous to say ignore them because they don’t match yours. 🙄

I think it’s unusual to have had a number of partners and have never been with a man who was interested in having sex more than once. In the early days it is more common in my experience (and friends), also more common pre mid 40s. When it’s all new and you’re really attracted to each other, you’ve got time, it’s common in my experience.

Just to add to this, I think “round 2”, is much more common is the early stages of a relationship, compared to after 25 years together

I’m not telling her to ignore other people’s experiences, just the statement that it is “strange”

I think it is fine to say it is common or uncommon in your experience but how can you say that it is strange unless you know the bedroom habits of everyone else?

Even in the fairly self selected group of people who post on the sex board there are a number of people who don’t find it a common experience.

From my personal POV I need a leetle break inbetween, always up for rounds 2,3,4+ I'm 52.

It is completely normal for sex drives to be mismatched in some way you might be the lower desire partner in one relationship and the higher in another..go figure!!

I’m not telling her to ignore other people’s experiences, just the statement that it is “strange”

From what I can see, one poster said that they would find it weird for it not to happen. It was their opinion based on their experience presumably. Others just said unusual so not sure what your issue is.

I think it is fine to say it is common or uncommon in your experience but how can you say that it is strange unless you know the bedroom habits of everyone else?

Maybe you should tell OP that there was no point her asking the question because we can’t answer for everyone. 🙄 She asked because she wanted answers from individuals presumably.

I’m not here for an argument, I just wanted to reassure OP that her experience really wasn’t an outlier and therefore very unlikely to be related to her performance

It’s not an argument but if you tell people to ignore others, you’ll get challenged.

I just wanted to reassure OP that her experience really wasn’t an outlier and therefore very unlikely to be related to her performance

Lots of people here are saying it’s unusual in their experience. To use your own words back at you, you can’t know OP is not an outlier ‘unless you know the bedroom habits of everyone else.’ They would certainly be an outlier in my group of friends.

I think it’s unusual OP. I can’t answer why it’s never happened for you.

I think it’s the wrong board to ask on honestly, you’ve probably got a scewed sample asking on a sex board.

I think it’s unusual for it to have never happened. Everyone I know well enough to speak about sex with, have all had that mad for each other stage with partners. For most it doesn’t continue, on a regular basis at least due to getting older and having kids and less time. Also once you live together, you see each other more so it’s not just fit in as much as you can when you can. If you and your partners were happy though, what does it matter?

I think it’s the wrong board to ask on honestly, you’ve probably got a scewed sample asking on a sex board.

Possibly. The board seems to be a lot of older men and a few women unhappy with their sex lives. I don’t think that’s the majority of people in my experience. IRL, sex before kids and when younger especially, was easy, multiple time’s, yes to spent weekends in bed etc. So if many here have not experienced that it just doesn’t reflect really. Yet, posters here seem to think many other things are normal and just run of the mill, like using websites for affairs which in my circle would be very much frowned upon. I think it’s a reflection on people here not having had healthy sex lives and relationships over the years. It certainly accounts for some of the things they post.

I’ve waffled and it’s late. In short, I think I’ve lived a fairly normal life and it’s far more common to have had sex multiple times at least when younger and think affair sites are wrong. But on here it’s the opposite. That says a lot and I think that is what is skewed.