ED in post 45 guy

[Agiftandacurse]

I have a new sexual partner. He’s gone soft a couple of times now (always second round). I’ve not experienced this before. Could it be his age? He’s not even 50, fairly fit non smoker. Or nerves? Or me 😬. I’ve not made a big deal of it and hoping it just gets better with time? I’m a bit younger and not really keen on being with someone that needs 🔹

Look, i'm not going to allow 2 anonymous posters on a site to irritate me. Life is good, I've got a new job and I'm fairly happy, finally out of consulting, so I don't need your pity and I don't care much if your revolted by a post purely trying to give honest, only helpful advice. I won't waste my fingers in future. Happy Christmas!

It id probably just nerves, I was with anew guy a few times and he struggled to maintain an erection. It imporved with time, Why not V? There are men in their 20s which use it.

I am 16 years younger than my SBTXH who is 50 next year, was with him through his 40s. Never had any experience of ED, but would promise round two later but it’d never happen, physically it was just a no go. The next day he’d be ready to go again. I wouldn’t be upset by a 40+ year old taking viagra.

My experience of men in their 40s is that they are still very sexual but you should anticipate a different type of sex. Men in their 20s have the stamina but not necessarily the knowledge of how to please women sexually. Hopefully he’s putting your sexual needs first with lots of foreplay and making you orgasm a few times before he finishes.

I can appreciate that it might be somewhat disappointing though, especially in the early stages of the relationship when all you want to do is go over and over again. It’s all about personal preference though OP, if you want more sex from a partner then you’re well within your rights to walk away from this.

Agree with this, I’m a 50 something man and sex has changed as I’ve aged, I would like to think it’s quality over quantity these days.

There was nothing in your post to apologise for @DGConsultant I'm a bit older you and couldn't manage what you do, but no way read the tone of your post as bragging. As for the ludicrous charge of "oversharing", it's a damn forum/chat for folks to do precisely that - share, chat. If your post could be accused of oversharing, so it seems to me could the OP - not that I'm criticising them. I also would have thought that a (sensitive) male's input was perfectly reasonable, maybe even useful - the OP could always have said "no responses from men" if that's what they were after.

well said DG - some folks appear to float around these threads looking for folks to put down. Great that you have the strength to rise above it. (no pun intended)

Some posters really don’t like when the unnecessary oversharing is pointed out do they? 🤣🤣🤣

The thread is about a man of 45+. When a bloke 10 years younger comes on to tell us about what he can do, it’s unnecessary oversharing. Advanced search is even more interesting. 🧐

Sounds crap OP. I’d dump him before any feelings develop for this man who isn’t a match for you. You don’t have to be all understanding and compassionate, he’s a new partner, no need to be horrible but just say it’s not working and move on before you’re invested and stuck with a bloke with issues. It sounds like you’re too young for all that with a bloke you’ve not known long.

Agree with the oversharing comment. Men post 45 is very different to mid 30s.

Why would a bloke come on to tell us about himself at 36, OP has already said there’s been no issues with younger blokes she’s been with.

Then for another poster to argue it was reasonable to mention and that it wasn’t unnecessary oversharing is ridiculous. OP is dating someone 45+, it was the whole point of the thread, not an opportunity for younger men to tell us about themselves.

@MassiveFuckingSalad , Just trying to give solutions for the OPP with my contribution here, not spark a firestorm of flaming. Guilty of slight ignorance of the biological differences between a mid 30's bloke and one in their mid 40's, yes I'd take that critique. People should stop jumping down peoples throats on here, It is not terribly pleasant.

@DGConsultant Not terribly pleasant? Its not terribly pleasant to have to read men oversharing on so many threads either. It appears you’ve done it before too. Stop doing that and other posters won’t have say anything that you feel is unpleasant. HTH.

@MassiveFuckingSalad , You are making good points, so not jumping down your throat. I didn't genuinely think that my initial post constituted "oversharing", not massively, seeing we're on a sex chat board and we're all adults. Hard to strike a perfect balance with useful, helpful contribution and "oversharing", then. Either the mods need to jump on this kind of thing so we all know the acceptable parameters of legitimate discourse/conversation, or people need to relax slightly unless the comments are obviously and deeply vile. In future, I'll moderate my tone, comments, contributions, as this platform is clearly not a great space.s

OP, I highly doubt that just because he’s not blowing your mind on the second time around that he has had ED issues. This is probably perfectly normal for his age but then I’m not a 45 year old man so can’t factually comment.

I’m a few years older than you, but I think that I’d rather, instead of enduring round after round, have a man that makes the first time so memorable that there is no need to go again.

What's the gap between finishing and starting again?

Thanks @DixonD yes I think I’ve realised through this thread it’s not ED just normal for a 45 plus man. So no need for viagra. I’m really not a fan of a guy that goes for hours without finishing but that’s just me/personal preference. Recovery time I prefer under an hour.

Should add that he of course gives me plenty of attention and is very good at it.

It’s my first experience of someone going soft or not able to get hard. Knowing it’s his age definitely helps in a way. And knowing it’s unlikely to improve has also helps with where I go from (still not decided though!).

My older husband ensures I am so well satisfied i would not be up for a round 2- I’m normally literally begging for him to come as he can find orgasms when I think I’m done… always at least 3-1 to me but not unheard of to be 5/6-1.
So yes I agree with the PP who said the older man is quality over quantity every time… but if that’s not a good match for you @Agiftandacurse could you suggest he gives you oral for the second course and take the pressure off him erection-wise?

plenty of oral already 😉