Masturbation

[youngones1]

If you were having a period without sex with your OH (due to their health problems), would you tell them you need to masturbate say in the bathroom at bedtime to scratch the itch.

No. That’s trashy.

Do you think better not to say anything?

I think you should just keep it to yourself 😅

My husband knows I do it without me needing to say. I don't feel the need to keep it a secret or make an announcement about it. We have plenty of sex though. It's a normal part of life for us, not a taboo topic.

It really depends on how open and how sexual you usualy are with your partner. In the wrong circumstances, it could feel like you trying to put pressure on them. In the right circumstances, you're just being honest about a normal human function.

Probably best to do it in secret.

No, if they were unwell I wouldn’t say anything as it’s unfair. It depends on the person and the relationship, they might not be able to perform but if they’re into it they might want to watch?

I would keep it to yourself and just do it when you need to. My husband knows I masturbate and use toys on my own and has no problem with this, he actually loves that I do, but I don't tell him when usually and I'll do it in the bath / shower as I feel like I need to.

I think the bath is a good option.

Hi @youngones1 have you spoken with your OH honestly about it? Depending on how you communicate about sex and how important it is for the both of you you might be pleasantly surprised...they might even take part..good luck!

Have a chat to see if both of your needs are being met, maybe they feel they are missing out too. Depending on the outcome of that you might sometimes be able to seek mutual pleasure, they might like to watch you pleasure yourself or prefer you did it in private. Best to chat a gauge the reaction.

I usually only masturbate with my partner there, I enjoy sharing it really

It completely depends on the dynamics of the relationship. In the past, DP has not wanted sex and happily made dinner while I took myself to bed for some solo fun. But we view masturbation, together and separately, as a perfectly normal human need.

Only you can tell how OH would react, if he'd be upset. If you think he would, then just be discreet.

I think he might think I was being selfish if I told him.

It all depends on your relationship. Both DH and I masturbate on our own. We are open about it. It is something we both do in private. If you do not and your OH is ill and cannot have sex he will feel so bad about your need to do it. I would then do it secretly. There must be times when you are apart and you can do it in your bedroom on your own?

No. That’s trashy

wanking or telling him ?

that said I’d keep it quiet if he’s sick

what’s to be gained by telling him

If he is well enough to hold you, could he not sometimes hold you why you do it? As well as doing it in private, I’m comfortable doing it in the presence of someone l am intimate with.

l don’t see why he will feel bad about you doing it in private or with him. I still do it when I’m having regular sex with someone. The needs are quite different.