Breast milk and sex

[LangleyPark]

Not just a new name but a new account set up from a new email address and registered on a new device, because I’m paranoid about being recognised somehow! My sister, SIL and several friends are on MN and we know each other’s usernames etc and I would not be at ALL comfortable them knowing this about my life! Because of that I’ve changed a few unimportant factual details in the below just to guarantee I’m anonymous😳😳. I’m sorry if some of this is TMI, I’ve never posted in this forum before for the reasons above.

OK, I’m ebf my ds (5mo, first child) and have recently got back into the swing of things with DH. Before DS breast and nipple play was a big part of our “routine”. DH loves it and I’ve always had very sensitive nipples, to the extent that I’ve climaxed a few times just from having DH play with them (hands and nibbling, licking etc).
It took about 10 days for my milk to come in but since then I’ve been on a hair trigger. If I even think about DS I’ll let down, and I have to be careful to wear a well fitted bra to sleep in or I wake up to find the bed wet and the room smells like a dairy.

Anyway, you can probably see where this is going. We decide to DTD for the first time in 5 months (I was a bit paranoid about a v minor tear, DH was very patient). We hadn’t been abstinent before but I’d always been wearing a top and nursing bra with pads, not through any great planning but just the time of day we’d been active, so he hadn’t noticed me letting down.
Pretty much as soon as we start DH goes straight for my nipples like he normally would and obviously I immediately start to let down. He just laughed and carried on, and I was feeling v full so enjoyed the relief as well as the stimulation which had been absent from our routine since before DS.

Sex was great, was pleased to be back into it and DH joked it was good I could still surprise him in bed after all these years. But later on I started to get weirded out and I’m not exactly sure why. DH just said all couples must experience the same thing, and pointed out he didn’t really drink the milk, just sort of let it out of his mouth.
Anyway I googled it and obviously found a hundred porn sites and Reddit fetish threads which made me feel a million times worse, so I decided to post here under cloak of anonymity. Is this weird?? Are we some sort of deviants for DH sucking my nipples when I’m nursing? Should I keep a top on until I wean DS? Though the plan is to TTC in around 6 months so might not really stop lactating for years?!

Any comments welcome from people either in a similar position, or who have never done this but don’t think it’s weird - or even from those who 100% think it’s weird. I just need to know and feel far far too embarrassed and awkward to ask anybody IRL in case they think we’re perverted!!

Sorry this is so long winded, it’s been rattling sound in my head for nearly 2 weeks.

Life's short. Enjoy what you can while you can. It doesn' matter what anyone else thinks about what you do with your body in your home.

I don't think it's really abnormal but probably best to keep it private rather than post about it here. You'll either be accused of being a perve or feed the perves' desires.

I didn’t want my husband to touch mine at all while I was breastfeeding (for three years!). They are much more responsive to touch since I stopped (four years ago).

I do know a few male friends of mine have indulged in it so don’t feel weird about it.

I very subtly raised what people do about let down with a group of friends recently and they all unanimously agreed v quickly that their boobs were off limits to DH/DP when breastfeeding so I just nodded along. Certainly didn’t help with worrying about there being something wrong with it!

I’ve never posted in the sex forum before but I browse it sometimes and to be honest the frequent appearance of the MN “Sex Forum Police” in the comments really made me worry about posting anything here at all.
Everything on Google is either pornified or fetishised, and I know by posting somewhere actual normal women are I’ll get accused of being a pervert or an exhibitionist or a teenage boy or a tabloid journalist or god knows what else.

But I’ve been driving myself a bit mad (being on mat leave and home alone ~10 hours a day sometimes probably not helping!) so bit the bullet under a new account and will just ignore the MN Police!!

If you both had fun, who cares what anyone else thinks? I bet your friends get up to or at least think about some slightly more unusual stuff too!

Wasn't there a shop in Covent Garden selling breast milk ice cream ? Now that was a bit weird but enjoying your own wife's milk, if you both like it then why ever not ?

Your home, your body, your life, just live it!

I don’t see the problem really! Now I think it’d be weird if he all of a sudden had an interest in nipple play and was actively trying to get some milk out. That would be fucking weird.

You’re body has changed because you have a baby. You’re just going with the flow imo

Why on earth shouldn't the OP post on an anonymous forum?

@LangleyPark What you and your husband are doing is just having sex as you would have before you had the baby. Having a let down when you are aroused is perfectly normal. Your husband playing and sucking your nipples is also totally normal. He's not turned on by the milk being produced because as you've said he's letting it run out of his mouth and you have always been turned on by nipple play. You are certainly not perverted!
Maybe a waterproof mattress protector might be required?

I stated why. Duh.

In fact Martin, you're one of the few on here who I find incredibly dubious.

Thanks babe 😘. I've moved on from Martin though. He was a complete twat.

It’s great you are intimate again and this is literally one phase in your life

your nipples will be milk free again and this will be a distant memory

so nothing to feel bad about id say
but you will have to push and power through !

I would look beyond the let down and milk and recognise that you both enjoyed yourselves and reconnected after the birth of your baby. Who cares about what others opinions are if you're both ok and comfortable with the situation carry on.
Many couples struggle with intimacy after birth with eithervthe father or the mother feeling differently towards their partner.
If he enjoys your milky breasts then great, quite literally 'go with the flow' and have fun.

I'm sure it's not that unusual, though people may be apt to keep quiet about it! The ice cream company was called the Licktators, as I remember and it foundered because of copyright disputes, as it was borrowing from the Sex pistols and Lady Gaga. The local authority and the Food Standards Agency raised safety and hygiene concerns. One of the original milk contributors, Victoria Hiley, became involved as a result of reading about it on Mumsnet, apparently. So this website has form!

When I was breast feeding my breast were completely off-limits to my husband, it just felt strange to have him there.

I consecutively breast fed for 6 years (3 years, one child after another) so for a very long time my husband did not go near them.

It’s been three years since I stopped breast feeding and even now I don’t feel 100% comfortable when my husband is sucking on my nipples, in fact I tend to pull away when he starts.

Did it happen once and your husband wasn’t expecting it and so laughed it off and now knows not to do it again?

Or did he get sexual pleasure from it and now wants to suck on your breasts with the intention of having your breast milk in his mouth as a planned part of your sex life?

I think the fact you are posting here and having persistent doubts and concerns about it shows you aren’t comfortable with it.

Why is it weird or some sort of perversion, they are, after all, meant for feeding, just happen to also have a sexual element. My DW breastfed and if I ended up with some milk after playing with them at that time neither of us made an issue of it, stop worrying

@LangleyPark Having BF for many years (four kids) it varied. Early days off limits… later on, it was fine and “milk happens” and I often experienced a let down when orgasming so had to have a wee towel handy. It was never about the milk as we’d enjoyed breast-led fun prior to babies. I swear now though they’re so much more sensitive and enjoyable years after finishing BFing. So that’s a decent reward
in itself.
Your body, your business. Enjoy 😉

I was/am very similar to you op in terms of nipple play. My DC haven't bf for years now.
My DH always said he kind of expected the milk so it never bothered him. I have never asked if he swallowed the milk or not but I'm guessing he swallowed it. The only time I avoided boob or nipple play was if they hurt.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself whist having sex as a bf Mum. It sounds like it is nothing to do with the milk and more about enjoying nipple play. I say as long as you are both happy who cares.

My OH would drink my milk if it happened as part of our normal play. We didn't go out of our way for him to feed or anything but he said he didn't mind the taste so why not.

If you're happy with it OP carry on. If not, don't. Either a top or having a towel handy will solve it.

Hell if you want to make it more of a 'thing' there's no reason not to do that either!

Not wierd at all.

During my first pregnancy, I was turned on by partner sucking nips. I think the heightened sensitivity felt good. Obviously there was no let down as was pregnant not feeding yet, but I guess something was coming out.

We both enjoyed it. Zero harm. Completely and utterly detached and seperated from anything to do with actual breastfeeding.

Your Dh was not expecting it so nothing wrong with what happened, he sounded suprised but happy to carry on having sex ( as he should). Enjoy they’re nothing wrong with the situation at all. sometimes a bit of humour is needed with sex to keep it fun and enjoyable for both parties x

It happens, it’s not an issue, towards the end of breastfeeding our youngest DW used to say one was for me one for baby, made a joke of it really because short of never not wearing something or never being touched, milk would appear