Sex/FWB with good friend

[ShouldOrShouldnt]

I have a good friend, we get on well and he’s somebody I feel comfortable around. We have spoken about being intimate with each other but I’m not sure if it will change our friendship which is important to me.
What are your thoughts?

I suppose it depends on how much you value your friendship and if it's worth the risk. If you would be devastated to lose their friendship then I don't think it's worth it. Otherwise, go for it!

I would be upset to lose his friendship, he’s a great person, attractive and respectful.

I think it will end in tears. I have a lot of female friends. If it ever crossed the line with them, it would spoil it for ever.

If you are like minded there is nothing wrong with having sex with a good friend; someone you can trust. But it is important that any ground rules are clearly set out.

I am still friends with people I've had sex with in the past where it is likely to re-occur.

At the end of the day if you both consent there's only one way to find out really

I think we will try and see how things go. I’m not sure we would spoil things, if we’re clear beforehand.

Did things feel different after you had sex or were you able to separate the friendship from the sex?

I slept with my best mate of 20 years ( both female). It ruined the friendship, wasn't worth it and wish I'd never gone there although what's done is done.

This is something I am worried about and I’m really torn on what to do for the best.

@ShouldOrShouldnt - If anything it enhanced the friendship because mutual respect and trust was there as well as the passion.

Why are you only thinking FWB? I don't get it. If you're such great friends and sexually attracted to each other, why not have a proper relationship? I admit I'm naive in these things as with same person since 2003!

You trust him so why not ? Not quite the same but I had a bj off a friend once on the beach after drinks. I’ve not done anything in the way of wild stuff so it still gives me happy memories even though we’re married off with others and this was 25yrs ago! It was mildly funny in work the next morning but didn’t affect any part of our friendship back then. Go for it

You really need to talk to your friend about this.

In my youth, I had a couple of friends who ended up as FWBs. The friendships didn't survive.

@mnmnddddd - Just a thought, but do you think the friendships would have survived anyway? I have some very close long established friends, but there have others where, for no real reason, we have lost touch.

@StarlightLady Difficult to say for certain. The ends were driven by changes in circumstances, rather than a desire to stop seeing eachother. I think we would have stayed in contact if it weren't for the sex.

I've often found friendship to be the base that leads onto something better to be honest. Sometimes I've known people for months or years, and it evolves. I like to have friendship before I have anything more substantial. Open and honest conversation about your thoughts and how you both feel, including how it could impact things, is important.

We both don’t want more than a FWB commitment, we both have our own lives, live in different cities and both don’t want a relationship. I’m still undecided about what to do for the best.