I can’t swallow

[QueenBing]

Really hope someone can help me with this! I have a strong gag reflex and after a bad gagging experience giving oral in my 20s (in my 40s now) I can’t stand cum in my mouth. I can’t spit, I don’t want it on my face, but I genuinely enjoy giving oral. My new boyfriend is wonderful and he loves me going down on him but he knows my boundaries and says he has to concentrate really hard on not finishing in my mouth and I can tell it spoils his enjoyment. I don’t want to be like this, my bf understands and respects my boundaries and he’s never pushed the point, but I feel like I want to swallow and finish the job properly. So how do I get over this?

OP, we are similar ages; l’m not sure if you are gagging on him at an earlier stage or just at the explosion point?

Hold him with your hand to control the depth and move him further back briefly as he is about to blow. You can feel the pulse change or, to be sure he can tell you. Let the juices flow rather than try to gulp and have yourself in “drinking position”, maybe kneeling as opposed to laying down.

Remember it is not a competition to see how much you can take in and no, l don’t want it on my face either. Or any other part of me come to that.

lf it doesn’t work for you, the tongue is a wonderful thing.

And make sure the gander is getting as much as the goose.

I had a similar experience the first time I tried it.

I tried it again and found that if you aim it for the back of your tongue (fewer taste buds!) you don’t really notice it’s there. I’m so used to it now, I don’t need to do that anymore, and I actually enjoy it.

This reminds me of something my then partner and I did when I was about eighteen. We were interested to try oral sex but I wasn't sure how I'd cope with the ejaculation experience. So we masturbated him into my hand and tasted the produce. Him first - I insisted! On discovering it wasn't too bad, this took the apprehension out of the experience and on subsequent occasions we proceeded until he came to fruition as it were. A bit of a bitter aftertaste and a somewhat slimy texture, so not something I'd seek out if it were a foodstuff, but in the context of an intimate and slightly naughty act that brings two people closer and creates a warm glow of togetherness, it's much more enjoyable.

Don't forget it's important that women should reserve the right to say no, if it's really unacceptable to you. But I found breaking it up into subcomponents that I could master individually and we could share (in some cases) was the key for me.

My dw won't do this for me unfortunately, I wish she would, I ask every few years in case she changes her mind but I've always respected her boundary on it it. She hasn't done it once so doesn't know what mine tastes like. We don't go into details with previous relationships and it's over 20 years now so pointless, but I can tell she would have tried it with someone before me and obviously hated it. Even now she calls it 'poison' without ever doing it for me (I do anything for her btw). It is dissapointing and has always been a bit frustrating that she did it for someone else but hey ho. She has asked in the past why it's better but my memories are vague now from previous partners who just did it without any suggestion for it, no bad experiences. Ultimately when she stops you just lose all the nice sensation whilst having an orgasm. From memory it was a much more complete experience but I respect her boundary anyway. And she doesn't go any deeper than the head so unfortunately I would never be able to suggest the techniques above for reducing the taste (which may not even be bad, she doesn't know!)

I'm very lucky my partner loves oral both giving and receiving. I'm not bothered if doesn't want to swallow it, damned if I would...I generally 'tap out' and let it fly 😆

I don't like the taste of cum, and if I do taste it I pretty much vomit it back up onto them! The only way I can do it is when he is near to cumming I do a constant swallow, over and over. In that way, it's not very pleasurable to me, so generally I say I just don't want to keep doing oral to the end, but maybe they could cum on me or something. I don't think you just do it solely to make him happy.

@lilkitten - I'm the opposite, happy to swallow but I don't want goo on me! I like things tidy and hate mess 🤔.

I don’t like it either so always suggested guys finish on my boobs or pussy. Not surprisingly they usually went for that instead 😜

Can you imagine if it tasted like chocolate?! Mmmmmm.

I can’t stand it either OP! I love to tease, lick, suck etc. but if I taste it ewwwww 🤢 🤢!! I really don’t know why women swallow it!

Well, I quite enjoy feeling the little twitches and the flood of warm semen. It shows I've been successful in my ministrations and he's given himself up to me. In a similar way, he must ingest a fair bit of my juice when he's doing oral on me, so it seems like a fair exchange!

It’s just like anything else though isn’t it - simply because some women like (or like me, love) it.

There’s plenty of other sexual activities that just don’t appeal to me - but this one I get!

Hard boundary for me, texture makes me 🤢🤮
Usually ends in sex which is fine with us both

I’m with you OP.

I don’t let my DH finish in my mouth - it either makes me retch or vomit. I can’t stand the taste, the consistency or the heat of it. My husband knows it’s one of my boundaries and he never makes an issue out of it.

I’m the same. Can’t stand it! 🤢

I'm fine with it generally and actually quite enjoy it although occasionally it has its challenges if he's ever particularly copious after a long session or if he hasn't come in a while.

In that case as soon as he's completely finished an unhurried sip of water from a handily placed glass can help with the swallowing I've found. Maybe that's something you could try?

Thanks everyone for your replies, I’m relieved to hear it’s not just a “me” problem but it is something I want to get over. Having a drink for after the event is a brilliant idea and I think I’ll concentrate on him finishing on my tongue so I’m not committed to swallowing. I’m unwell at the minute but as soon as I recover I’ll be trying your tips and I will update!

Good luck!

I think it is a marmite thing - some don't like it and others love it.

What was your bad gagging experience? Did you have his cock too deep in your mouth and it was in your throat? That can give a suffocating experience. You should just keep just his head in your mouth and use your hand to masturbate his shaft.

It is useful to ask him to tell you when he is about to cum. Guys generally know when they are about to explode. You can then get yourself ready for it.

A guy's cum has a salty taste to me. Some girls obviously do not like it. I am fine with it and swallow it, although I always have a glass of water next to where I am to take immediately afterwards. If you really don't like it, tell him you love sucking his cock but dont want his cum in your mouth and to tell you when he is about to cum and then to spray it over your boobs. If your boobs are big enough, ask him to put his cock between them, squish them together while he brings himself off. In my experience most guys love that.

Feel free to DM me if you want to chat further about this