clitoral arousal

[whatrthechances]

Hi my first time posting on this board but this has been really bothering me not sure if an its age or hormone thing or what's happened but I've noticed my clitoris no longed throbs or feels any sensation when I'm aroused. I am 45 and in a very new relationship after having a very stale practically non existant sex life for the past 10 years. I'm finding it incredibly frustrating, I will very adequately lubricate but there's just no throbing in anticipation or sensation from my clitoris like there used to be. Any one else had this?? I've tried masterbating regularly to try and get the blood flow and sensation back and I can orgasm after a good while but its not the same and not as intense as it used to be and just doesn't seem to be working to restore sensation.
Anyway else had this did? things improve and if so how? I'm yet to have full sex with new partner as it is still quite early days but we've touch each other intimately but even then my clitoris didn't respond as it would have done years ago. I'm find it very frustrating.

Were you masturbating during the last 10 years?
Have you commenced any new medications which could interfere with sexual function?

on the masturbation not very often if I'm honest 2 months or so at a time could go by without me doing it, just didn't have the desire. I feel i have the desire for sex so strongly now in my head but my body is just not responding in the way it should and used to do. And no meds other than recently started on microgynon contraceptive pill in anticipation of lots of great sex with dp without having to worry about pregnancy at 45!

Any new medication? Ah, just read the last bit.

SSRI's can be an issue. I assume no other health issues (MSK/circulatory)?.

If I were you I would go to the GP. You need your clitoris to work, especially now!!

I'm not sure if I've felt my clitoris throbbing, but say when I'm kissing someone for the first time I have more of a vaginal throbbing. If you're in other ways aroused by your new partner, I would speak to your GP.

It could be a side effect of the pill and/or minimal amount of stimulation over a significant period of time.

l would suggest More frequent masturbation (you know you can do more!) as well as 1:1 sex just might clear the cobwebs away. The other option might be to give up on the pill and go for condom usage. Hormone contraception does have a downside.

Your body has been sleeping and is probably wondering what is going on.

Might you be peri menopausal? this has an effect on sex drive etc.

OP, I'm the same!

Just started seeing a new partner after 10 years of no sex.

I think I'm just having difficulty letting go, over-thinking things & just getting used to being in a sexual relationship again.

Trying to not pressurise myself & just enjoy it.

It might be related to menopause, or it might just be a case of use it or lose it and you've lost it. Not that there's any reason to think you couldn't get it back. If you have the desire for sex in your head, just be patient with your body, practice lots, and it will hopefully catch up. Communicating this to an understanding partner should also help.

Thank you for all your replies. Having googled and read up further and also seen similar threads on here I actually think I'm suffering from clitoral atrophy as it does feel as though my clitoris has disappeared! I actually feel devastated and so worried il never get it back. I must say I have definitely had lack of use over many years but recently we're feeling a little tingle before starting the microgynon pill around 2 or 3 months ago. I definitely think I need to come off this pill to see if things improve although no idea what il do for contraception in my new relationship. I hate condoms and have previously came out in an allergic rash many years ago when a previous partner used them.

OP, l suggest that your partner latches on to you and gently sucks together with some tongue work. You need a “seal” between you, so he needs to practice breathing through his nose. It’s difficult to explain in writing.

l would also suggest regular (solo) vibey use for full and thorough exploration and renaissance. Every woman should have at least one.

About condoms, you say it was many years ago, things have moved on along a lot since then. I still feel that coming off the pill would help. I can’t remember when l last had sex without a condom, (it was years ago!) women’s sexual health is important and hormonal contraception does not suit me. We are similar ages. You can get non allergic condoms and Polyisoprene condoms which might suit you both. A little inconvenience might get your hormones bubbling again. Good luck x

Personally, in my relatively old age, I've developed an alergy to babies (yes, I said it) and STIs bring me out in a rash, so condoms would always be my goto, especially with a new partner.

It's possible (though not to be assumed) that you have a latex allergy. Condoms have come a long way since "many years ago" and there are plenty of alternatives these days. Just search for non-latex condoms or, if you feel it necessary, hypoallergenic condoms. (Whether they're really any difference other than marketing remains yo be seen.)