Cuckolding

[LightbulbeJess]

Hi,

My DH confessed he would like me to cuckold him. Initially sort of shocked at the idea but I’ve quite quickly come round to it and actually thought about it more and more.

We have a fab marriage and there’s nothing really lacking. But I’ll admit that he’s got a dad bod now so being able to basically pick a fantasy guy for me is quite a thrill. I’ve said I will do it but for anonymity I’d meet the guy at a hotel while DH waits in the bar downstairs (I don’t fancy him watching, but I said I’d tell him about it afterwards).

I’ve got a couple of questions:

Have any others on here done this and how was it afterwards? I don’t want awkwardness.

I’ve found a guy but he’s quite a bit more endowed than my DH. If anyone’s done this before do you tell your DH if the other guy was bigger/ better?

If anyone’s done this before do you tell your DH if the other guy was bigger/ better

Have never done anything like this, but I would imagine saying something like this would be a good way to chuck a bomb 💣 into your marriage

You need to be very careful with this , the reality is a lot different to the fantasy .

My understanding of cuckholding, humiliation is part of the kink. So bragging about the other guy being bigger than DH would probably turn him on.

I've not tried this but may be worth visiting https://www.reddit.com/r/Cuckold/ for views from those active or interested in this lifestyle.

But yes it does seem that men who are into being cuckolded that humiliation is part of the kink, and want to hear that the 'Bull' is much better endowed and better in bed than he is.

Check with DH that he is sure about his terminology.
Him being subject to the humiliation makes him a cuckhold.
If the focus is on you getting guilt free extramarital sex, and him enjoying your enjoyment - you would be a hotwife (the focus here is your enjoyment, not his belittlement and humiliation).

110% this ^ he might just get enjoyment from your enjoyment & not the humiliation aspect, communication is key.

just imagine if he has sex with another woman and says she had better boobs than you and was a much better shag than you

Thanks he's been really open about it. I was a bit of a prude in my younger days so he's my one and only person I've slept with.

We've introduced toys to our bedroom and he knows I enjoy that side of it. So I think he's aware of it so to speak.

Thing is our sex life is good but I never really orgasm unless manually. But with on toy in particular it gets me every time and I don't have to manual.

The honest answer is I really don't know. Maybe we need to discuss it more before we jump in.

Thanks will take a look. I didn't even know this kind of thing existed until a few weeks ago.

Definitely discuss it more with your husband, find out what appeals to him about being a Cuckold, though from my limited experience of what others have to say, Cucks do seem like hearing about their wife/GF being with a Bull, and how much better endowed and good they were

If you're happily married, how do you quickly find someone suitable for this and know how they measure up?!

Sorry its not been quick in like days...more like 2 months which I think is quick (for me).

I've been chatting with a guy online from a swinger site. He sent a few pics... it's obvious from the pics he measures up. My DH setup the account and we've chatted to a few but this one guy I like (physically).

I think I'm on board with the cuckolding my DH part...its more the what to do for him...he's been quite shy really about it and what he wants/gets from it.

I second this. Don't assume that he is into humiliation. He may want to share you, but not be into the humiliation side of it.
There's a study by Angela Lewis in which she says "At 55%, just over half of the men rated the opportunity for sexual humiliation as a factor which attracted them to Cuckolding".
So nearly half the men in her study weren't into humiliation. Google her name and The Cuckold Survey 2011 and you should be able to find it. It's an interesting read.

Absolutely bewildering. If my husband wanted to be humiliated by me cuckolding him, I think I’d lose all respect and desire for him. You’re playing with fire.

I had a similar experience in my DH telling me it was a fantasy, although he wanted to watch. This was on holiday and yes we did try it. I have a mixed view of it afterwards and yes I think it can be fraught with danger. Think it through but happy to chat if it helps

I'm poly so it's a bit different, as when we sleep with other people it's totally separate from each other and usually involves a relationship with the other person too. Very important to find out exactly what your DH does and doesn't want to get out of it, checking that cuckolding is right for him. The first time I saw another man, my DH thought he would like to see a video call of us having sex...but it just made him upset. I got home, told him everything that had happened (as we'd planned beforehand) and had sex with him, but he couldn't sleep that night and felt it had been a mistake. That was two years ago, it took a while to iron out the kinks (so to speak!). Very different to yesterday, where I saw my boyfriend for a date and sex, DH told me he'd been so exciting thinking what I would be doing, and we had great sex. We don't do humiliation, and I don't like seeing guys who are seeing me just for the thrill of having someone else's wife (just not my kink, I like to have them as a boyfriend), but communication and de-briefing is what you need. However, this can be a brilliant opportunity for you both, we're so glad we've done it. I'm 45 and though my 41yo DH is still very hot to me, it is very exciting getting to do the same with my 29yo boyfriend too

OP to be blunt here your husband needs to stop being coy / shy and you should both pause until he can fully articulate what he wants, in order for you both to progress with a proper discussion around this.

You’re trying to guess, somewhat, and that greatly increases the chances of getting this wrong. E.g. others’ very good points above about establishing the understanding of terminology particularly re humiliation, or not, as an element of this.

It’s such a potentially damaging thing that I would go so far as to say he’s not at all ready if he’s shy about expressing more nuanced aspects of this fantasy.

Not saying don’t do it! But consider why you’re asking on here, things that you should be able to ask your husband and get a proper conversation going.

Following on from previous poster's comments there may be ways of exploring this fantasy before diving in at the deep end and having an actual physical encounter.

How about some online interactions to test the waters and see how you both react to that? Or openly getting attention when out at night, or visiting a sex club but without necessarily interacting fully.

Definitely scope for taking a few baby steps on enjoying the fantasy before taking it further. There's also a few topics on this on Lovehoney forum from couples with experience in this lifestyle.

Sorry not replied sooner. So we had a chat about it last night once kids down and he does want the humiliation part of it. So I've told him about the guy I've been chatting to (DH knows we've been chatting online) and he seemed to get instantly frisky with me. We probably had the best s£x we've had in ages. So think we may have found a new thing we can do together (sort of).

I was asking online if others had experience of it...seems its a marmite kind of subject but it's nice to be able to connect to other real women who are/ were in the same situation.

Could I ask if you went ahead in the end, my wife and I, have done this since 2019

Yes we did. It’s been a real eye opener and honesty been fantastic. We’re into it quite a bit now too. Best way I can describe it is I’m having my cake and eating it 😇

That’s what my wife says as well… but he’s turned out to be a really good friend to her.
and helped her through a difficult time
as well as the sex

Has it affected intimacy with your DH at all now you’ve had (presumably) bigger than him?

it does…it increases it

if you don’t mind me asking…. Have you stayed with one chap… or more than one