"wank bank"

[LLDMSO]

I am happily married... but whenever I masturbate I always, without fail, think of a man from a fling before DH. I've tried in the past to train myself into thinking about DH, but it's always this other man. When I daydream about sex it's always this other man. I have particular scenarios which happened in real life that I close my eyes and imagine and elaborate on. I can turn myself on so easily thinking of him.

I obviously have absolutely zero intention of ever telling anyone, looking him up, making contact, bumping into him etc it's purely only in my head.

When I'm with DH I don't think about this other guy, I'm fully focused on DH and excited about him but when I'm on my own ...

Is this normal? Am I a terrible person? Am I cheating?!

Your not the first to fantasize about other people

Think about what ever gets you going, maybe the wrongness of it is hitting the spot

Of course you are not cheating, keep it in your head only

I never really think of my husband when I masturbate. I fancy him and he turns me on but for me masturbation is an outlet for my fantasies. I fully focus on husband when we have sex, but for my solo orgasms, I watch videos and look at pictures of an actor I fancy.
Occasionally I will think of sexy things from my past, but it's not the person I'm masturbating over, it's the scenario.
I think it's completely normal, it's a way of keeping your sex drive high and things fresh because even if you love someone dearly and have sexual attraction to them, there's still going to be other things that turn you on and masturbation is a good way of getting them out your system without cheating.

I don't think about my husband when I do, like a PP said when I'm going solo it's an outlet for a fantasy. I see my solo sex life as a separate thing from my sex life with my husband and I have certain boundaries about who I let myself think about!

In my book it's not cheating, we've both always fantasised about other people but wouldn't have gone and done anything with them