Where have the orgasms gone?

[Namechangeforthispost1]

DH and I have been together for decades. Both late-fifties. Both appreciate learning from and contributing to this board and others on MN.

I'm post-menopausal, fine but don't orgasm anything like as much as I used to. We still have regular sex, maybe twice a week, which I still want and enjoy but come maybe once in every ten times we make love.

Second question is to do with DH. He knows I'm writing this btw. We've always enjoyed oral, giving and receiving, but he's taking very long to finish in my mouth, something I've always enjoyed as part of intimacy. Sometimes he can't manage at all.

Until a year or so ago this was never an issue. He's frustrated and I miss how it used to be. He can ejaculate without any problem when he's inside me during sex.

I realise this is a time of life issue but do I just need just to accept that or are there any solutions, suggestions?

Try edging. I don't mean for the evening or during a session. I mean for a few days or even all week until the weekend.

About the oral: men get desensitised as they get older, so it naturally becomes harder to come. Worrying about whether he'll come makes it even more likely that he won't, ie, a very intrusive thought that spoils the enjoyment.

Possibly the reason why your DH finds it easier to come inside you is because he's more in control of the stimulation, ie, thrusting etc, than when you're performing oral on him.